Bumpers Blog

The Brilliance of Jon Stewart

2012-01-24T16:09:00.002-06:00

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

Is God Happy?

2011-05-02T08:53:00.002-05:00

Many Americans went to bed last night or awoke this morning to the news that Osama Bin Laden had been killed. This news showed that America had finally delivered on it’s promise to get the mastermind behind the September 11 attack on America.

As many Americans I remember 9/11 and the days following vividly. One of the most vivid memories I have of the days that followed is standing at Ground Zero just 10 days after the attacks. I stood amid the flames, the foul odors, the thick dust and the F-16’s overhead trying to wrap my mind around what I was seeing. To say it was an emotionally exhausting day is an understatement as was wave after wave of emotion engulfed me as we stood amidst the chaos and destruction.

There were a lot of things I saw and heard that day that I was not expecting. Among all of them however came from the mouth of one of the pastors I was with as he said “we need to pray, not just for America, but also for the people who did this.” I was incredulous. How could he utter these words? Was he not seeing the same thing I saw? How could he pray for these folks and ask God to bring them to a place of the saving knowledge of Christ? My response was something to the affect of “you pray!”

What I could not see then through my immaturity and emotion was that this pastors response was the right one. His response of asking God to save these evil men was the only proper response in the paradigm of God’s Kingdom.

Why was it the proper response? Because there are several inescapable truth’s that God details for us in Scripture:

ALL men are created in the image of God
God wishes that NONE should perish
Jesus dies for ALL men
His Kingdom that is here and now is open to ALL.

As I woke this morning and looked at the multiple Facebook status updates, I could not help but notice the “celebration of triumph” in the various status updates. Many these updates equated or credited God and His blessing with the killing of Bin Laden. As I read these a few questions sprang to mind given what we know of God and His Kingdom:

Is God really that happy over this?
Is God really carrying out His blessing by the killing of one created in His image?
Does God have red, white & blue as His kingdom colors?
Did God change the rules and wish that at least this one, this Bin Laden, perish?

These questions are not posed to demean or condemn the actions of our President or the military, but to simply ponder, as Jesus Followers should we, as my pastor friend exhibited:

Be in a posture of love or one of vengeance?
Be praying that God reach the hearts and souls of these men, or pray that death come swiftly?
Be praying that His Kingdom Come, His will be done on earth as it is in Heaven or be praying that America get’s her revenge?
Be moved because one created in God’s image has perished and this makes God sad or should we be celebrating because after 10 long years we finally got the bastard?
Be so accepting of God’s grace for us which covers our evil but not want it to be spread for those who are really evil?

Several years ago I went with a team from our church in Dallas to Nigeria. The trip lasted two-weeks and was in a word, incredible. During our time there we heard from many who had sacrificed greatly to come to know Christ. They had been disowned by family, had to flee for their lives and some recounted for us friends and family who had been murdered at the hands of Muslims. During one such conversation one of the men looked at us as tears filled his eyes and asked, “would you please pray for our Muslim brothers? They are lost and need Jesus.”

A poignant lesson in God’s politics and Kingdom living.

A Revolution of Love for Dube Bute

2011-02-20T12:31:00.004-06:00

Ever since our family made the decision to adopt from Ethiopia, the country and the people have been on our hearts and mind. We are so close to be united with our children and wait in incredible anticipation for that day. In the meantime, we have looked for ways to share our blessings with the people of Ethiopia.

One of the ways we have chosen to do this is by starting a fundraiser for the village of Dube Bute, one of the poorest of the poor villages in Ethiopia. Our goal is to raise $200,000 to supply clean drinking water, medical care, veterinary assistance and education to this village.

You can watch this video to learn more or to join us in spreading a Revolution of Love and A Glimmer of Hope to the people of Dube Bute you can click here.

A Glimmer of Hope - LTBH Feature - Austin 2009 from A Glimmer of Hope on Vimeo.

God Speaks Even Through Alarm Clocks

2011-01-12T15:01:00.005-06:00

Today marks one year since my dear friend Carson Leslie lost his battle with cancer and went to be with Jesus. For me it has been a day of remembrance, sadness and at the same time smiles in thinking about Carson and who he was as a person. However, the impact of today did not hit me until several minutes ago.

The day started for me waking up long before my alarm was due to go off and when I looked at the clock it was 3:33. Unable to get back to sleep my thoughts turned to Carson and the 1 year mark and I began to pray. Part of my prayer was "God, I am not sure why I am awake now, but I know your trying to convey something to me from the numbers 3:33 and would you please reveal that to me."

I finally got up helped get the kids off to school and started the work day with my thoughts on Carson and thinking about 3:33 and what God was trying to say to me.

This afternoon he gave me my answer in a way I could have never imagined. I was talking with my brother and recounted for him my waking up and told him it was 3:33. With both of us being U2 fans he recounted for me the lyrics of their song Unknown Caller, some of which are:

I was lost between the midnight and the dawning
In a place of no consequence or company
3:33 when the numbers fell off the clock face
Speed dialling with no signal at all

Go, shout it out, rise up
Oh, oh
Escape yourself, and gravity
Hear me, cease to speak that I may speak
Shush now
Oh, oh
Force quit and move to trash

He then told me that the song was about the interaction between us and God when we are at the end of our rope and He is trying to speak to us and in order for us to listen we need to be quiet. The 3:33 is in reference to Jeremiah 33:3 which reads "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."

In thinking about Carson and what I learned from him - how he lived his life, how he faced death, how he related to God, I can say I learned things that I did not know. To see how God has used his story to reach thousands is truly great and unsearchable. To think that God would use an alarm clock and ordain it that He woke me up at that time to provide me a message of triumph and comfort is more than I can comprehend.

God speaks and does so in amazing and unsearchable ways.

A Great Family & A Great Cause!

2010-12-19T14:55:00.001-06:00

http://cheathamchat.blogspot.com/

Please join this family as they seek to adopt!

My Friend Carson

2010-10-22T20:16:00.001-05:00

Please Pray for Graham Stump

2010-08-10T18:08:00.006-05:00

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Praying-for-Graham-Stump/147920241889172

Our friend Graham Stump was injured in a horse accident about 10-days ago and news is not good, but we believe that God can do what he wants and is not confined by medical reports.

This is one special family and so dear to our hearts. The link above will bring you to his update page and I ask that you spend time each day praying for Graham's healing, his wife Randi & two boys and their entire family.

Open Letter to Bill

2010-07-16T21:16:00.002-05:00

In my last post I wrote about my experience with my former home security company, Monitronics. This post caught the eye of two folks at the company Bill & Leah; both who commented on my post. While Leah wanted to try and patch up the relationship and see what she could do, Bill took a different approach.

I have felt the need to reply to Bill and have done so by copying his reply below and putting my reply in red -

I'm sorry your experience with Monitronics irritated you thank you Bill, I genuinely appreciate the apology!

but being flippant about how insistent we are about safeguarding your home security probably misses the point, doesn't it? Bill, I no longer accept your apology as I see that this is a rather narcissistic apology. You see Bill, you apologize, but then instantly try and point out that I was indeed the offending party. If this is what you think constitutes an apology you can put your sorry's in a sack mister (to quote one George Castanza)! As for missing the point, I am quite offended that you would call my writing flippant. Perhaps you should spend more time with Leah who I believe took my writing for what is was . . . a desperate cry for help. Bill, I have to be honest and I mean this only for your own good, I do not see counseling in your future.

There's always some trade off between convenience and good security. Bill, I was never made aware of this trade-off when I became a customer. I was under the impression that for good security the trade-off was my monthly fee that I was charged. If I could have traded for services, I would have offered up my stamp collection that I have had since I was 7.

Most security clients probably would appreciate that we choose to err on the side of caution when turning off a client's monitoring, rather than merely disable their security from a phone call or email. Well Bill, I guess I am not most clients and I wish you would stop trying to force me into some mold that only suits your needs. I do find it quite peculiar that I can disable a false alarm from my alarm pad or a telephone call but need to jump to your "side of caution" when turning off my service. Is it just me Bill or do you see the contradiction?

We've arrived at the policies we have because we've witnessed some fairly shocking exploits intended to victimize people in their homes. Bill, I can only imagine the things you have witnessed sitting at the Monitronics support desk. I am sure these atrocities have caused night terrors, shakes, sleeplessness and more. I think they refer to this as PTATD or Post Traumatic Alarm Termination Disorder, I recommend seeing a doctor.

Tales of Moving

2010-07-06T12:42:00.004-05:00

It's no secret that moving is hell. Let's be honest, there is nothing fun about stashing all your belongings in boxes and labeling only to get to your new place and reverse the process. I do believe it was part of God's curse on Adam and Eve and must be hidden somewhere in the original Hebrew.

One part that has gone surprisingly well is changing the addresses and canceling our utility services . . . that is until today when I called Monitronics, our home security company. Here is a recap of the conversation.

Monitronics: Hello this is Alicia, thank you for calling Monitronics how may I assist you today?

Me: Hello Alecia this is Carlos Hidalgo (I use Carlos when I want to sound official and want people to take me somewhat seriously), how are you today (I often find that asking them about their state of emotional stability makes the calls go better).

Alicia: I am fine thank you for asking, how may I help you (Translation: I get paid by the phone call, quit jerking around and get to the point - of course all said with a smile).

Me: I am moving out of state and need to cancel my service

Alicia: Well I am sorry to hear that but congratulations on the move (did not know that was a congratulatory kind of thing but what else do you say than thank you and bid a fond nod of gratitude to all the people who made it possible).

Me: Thank you, I would like to also thank all those who made this day possible

Alicia: OK sir (see the Carlos thing worked, she call me sir), I will need to confirm some details . OK sir your account is set-up for cancellation but I will need you to write a letter stating you want the account cancelled, your account number, why you want the account cancelled and your verbal password on the account.

Me: Are you serious? I just told you I want the account cancelled and gave you all the information you asked for, why on earth do I need to write this letter?

Alicia: We are a security company and we need to see it in writing and see your signature.

Me: This is absurd, what email address can I send it to?

Alicia: We do not accept email sir it has to be a letter.

Me: I need to speak to your supervisor

Alicia: Sir I am a senior account specialist (how many HR focus groups did it take to come up with that title), I am more than capable of providing you the service you need.

Me: Apparently you are not!

(Insert awkward 15 second silence as Alicia ponders my last statement)

Alicia: Sir I will give you the details of what we need for your letter

Me: Well you asked at the beginning of the call if I wanted to renew my account when we move, well the answer is no (this was done out of pure spite).

Alicia: OK, I will mark that in your account and you have a great day

In case you are wondering, here is my letter to Monitronics:

Please let this letter serve as notice to cancel my Monitronics Account. My cancellation is due to an out of state move.

My decision to not renew my service with Monitronics is due to the fact that in order to cancel my account I had to type and mail this letter. Your company requires this instead of taking advantage of ever present technology that most all other organizations use today to provide top of the line customer service. Due to Monitronics being in the dark ages when it comes to technology I cannot in good faith trust the security of my home and family to you.

I was told in order to cancel my service that I needed to provide some details. Here they are below:

Customer Number:
Verbal Passcode:

Per the conversation I had with your agent, I will receive a credit on this account. If there are any questions regarding this account please call me at my number on file. Please also be advised that any discussion from Monitronics to me will necessitate a back-up letter, from Monitronics to me at my new address as I will need to see it in writing and see your signatures.

Sincerely,

Carlos Hidalgo

U2 & Soweto Gospel Choir

2010-06-22T16:02:00.001-05:00

Declining god?

2010-06-07T19:18:00.003-05:00

I am amazed at some of the anger I am seeing in response to the current political landscape. The amazement does not come from what I see on the TV and the pundits on both sides, but the anger and dismay I reference is coming from people inside the church.

One thing that comes to mind in response to this anger is something a psychologist once told me – “anger is a surface emotion that is most often rooted in fear.” If this is true, and I believe it is, the question is why are we so fearful?

In response to the current Democrat run congress and White House I have heard Christians angrily declare we are experiencing a “loss of freedoms”, “weakening of our country”, “a lapse in building our national defense”, “losing our grip as being one of the worlds Super Powers” etc. I have heard Christians blast our President with names and accusations loaded with anger and wonder why is it we are so angry or better yet so afraid?

In the first chapter of Habakkuk, God tells the prophet He is going to use Babylon to address the evil that is in the nation of Israel. He describes Babylon as an empire like none before it and will be raised by God. As He is describing the power of this empire He states this in verse 11 “and guilty are they whose power is their god.” Quite a statement!

With this as the backdrop, are we like the Babylonians? Have we exchanged THE GOD for a different god . . . . power? I believe this abounding anger is an indication of a lost sight of God’s Kingdom and replacing it for one called America, in all its might and glory. As part of that exchange we value the power i.e. god and the real or perceived loss it is more than we can bear.

Several years ago I was at a lecture being given by Oz Guinness where he was asked about the role of America and our prominence over the next 50 years. As part of his answer he stated “the only logical step after dominance is decline and that is the course of history.” If we are indeed living in the age of decline for our country should we be responding with such fear that harvests anger? Do we not belong to a much greater Kingdom that while not yet complete has been established and will never decline?

Two years ago when I was in Nigeria and spent time with many Nigerian brothers and sisters, I never once heard them complain or assail their leaders who were Muslim and openly antagonistic towards Christianity. Many of these people had family that had been murdered by Muslims who were enabled by these leaders. Many of these Christian themselves had to flee. In spite of all of this all they ever prayed for was that these “Muslim Brothers and Sisters” would see Christ and be part of His Kingdom.

God has called His people to something much greater – His Kingdom. I believe He has called us to be partakers of His Eternal, Never Declining Kingdom no matter our geographic location. To make a god of any other kingdom or power is to bring guilt, fear, anger and ultimately decline to ourselves.

We're Expanding!

2010-04-30T10:58:00.004-05:00

The Hidalgo clan is in the process of expanding by what we hope is two!!

For the last year Susanne and I have been discussing, praying, thinking through and now are in the process of adopting from Ethiopia (brother-sister, ages 4-9).

Truth be told, Susanne has always been in favor of it and it was me who needed more time to see that this was the best thing for our family. God has some very interesting ways of getting ones attention. We are very excited about what lies ahead for our family as are the kids.

We are still in the early stages of the process and finishing up some of the paperwork etc., but will continue to keep you all posted about the process, travel dates, referrals, our new children,etc.

Thanks for all of those who have encouraged us along the way, who have been faithful in your prayers and shared in our excitement. There is a lot more to come and we look forward to sharing it with you!

10,000 Nets

2010-04-26T13:23:00.007-05:00

One of the deadliest killers of children in this world is preventable. It is preventable without the use of medicine but a simple net that

costs $10.

Every 30 seconds a child dies from malaria and 75% and 90% of th

ose deaths are in Sub-Saharan Africa.

How can you help? $10 supplies 1 insecticide treated bed net which will last 3-5 years and protect against the deadly disease of malaria. Think about the the change this would bring if each family who reds this would simply donate $10.

To get involved, join with Ten Thousand Nets and Malaria No More in giving and serving those less fortunate and help stop malaria!

Thoughts

2010-04-06T21:45:00.002-05:00

The other day a friend of was talking about getting alone with his thoughts and just being able to sit and think. He then asked me, what do you think about when you get the time. I had a few answers but after mulling the question for a few days here are some of the tops:

- Why do they have braille on drive-thru ATM machines? Even if a blind person could drive do you know the chances of them making it to the ATM? Why waste the time to put dots, it just makes no sense. This is right up there with the signs that say "No Pets Allowed Except for Seeing Eye Dogs." Just who writes this stuff?

- Why do people hit the elevator button when it is already lit? We have all seen those people who come up as we are waiting for the elevator and hit the button even though it is clearly lit. Does this send a message to the elevator telling it to hurry up because now there is more than one person waiting? Do they believe that I was incapable of pushing the button? I don't get it and it really bothers me.

- What does Alex Trebec and the contestant from Jeopardy talk about after the game? I have never understood how after Final Jeopardy when the winner is declared and goes to commercial, it comes back and there are the three contestants and Alex yamming it up while the credits roll. Do we need to see that and what do they talk about? I mean the winner of course feels great but what about the two losers? Does the winner lord it over them as King of the Nerds. I am hoping one day a tell all book comes out

- Do worms yawn?

- How does one become a leader of a cult? I am not sure I ever truly want to become one or even be a member although I am sure both have their pros & cons, however I am curious as to how one rises to such lofty heights.

- Why did my dad get upset during my brothers freshman year of college when his ID said Mike instead of Michael? Did he not realize he has a son he calls Bumper?

- Am I the only one who thinks the Disney movie The Parent Trap is sick and twisted? How does a couple get divorced and as a solution decide to separate, each take a child and never let them know the other exists? Better yet, who thinks of a film like that? A sick, demented evil person that's who!

So there is a sampling of whats rolls around in my head, just some random thoughts and I felt compelled to share.

What Would Jesus Super Size?

2010-03-23T20:56:00.003-05:00

WWJSS?

This will be the new bracelet worn by hundreds of thousands after a new study has concluded that there were 52 paintings of the Last Supper between the years of 1000 - 2000 where the main dish, the bread and the bread each increased in size.

The details of the study will be published in the April issue of the International Journal of Obesity (a rather thick journal I would imagine). The study was the grand idea of one Brian Wansink, who is titled as a "Food Behavior Scientist".

Just how does food behave and how does one study it? I mean does he wait for a carrot to act in an unacceptable manner? Does he as a scientist simply study the behavior of the carrot or does he study the response of the cucumber who may have been offended by the carrots behavior? This guy must have his hands full!

While the details of the study have not been revealed as of yet, I am pretty certain that none of the painters were there at the Last Supper and I am also pretty secure in the fact that if Jesus wanted to increase his portions He simply had to blink, snap his fingers or just make it happen. Hello . . . . does anyone remember the feeding of the 5000?

The bottom line is this - portion size in paintings is irrelevant to those who are obese, unless those portions are made of modeling chocolate and eaten upon site. If Mr. Food Behavior Guy Brian is concerned about portion size, he should go down to McDonalds and Burger King and begin to measure the fat ass burgers and fries and put that in his obese journal.

This Blog Is My Blog, This Blog Is Your Blog . . . .

2010-03-16T09:14:00.002-05:00

Remember when we were kids and we all sang the song "This land is your land, this land is my land . . . . . " Yes, I know we changed the words along the way from singing about America to singing about unwanted trespassers and us shooting them but thats not the point. The point is, I am turning this blog over to you, my six loyal readers - yes that's right this Blog is now not only my blog, but in a way, it is also your blog.

Why am I doing this?

Well because why should I be the one who always comes up with the topics to write about? So now you get to help. How? You will notice on the side bar a new widget called Skribit. This widget allows you to enter your suggestions as to what I should write about. Simply type in a topic, hit submit and the topic is emailed to me.

Now, as I have said this is now your blog, but I still am the majority owner, so I do have the right as the owner to reject any suggestions that may come my way, but will do my best to accommodate all requests.

Happy Skribiting!

Olympics

2010-01-31T22:05:00.004-06:00

I had intended to get this piece out prior to Friday, but obviously am a little late in doing so, however in honor of the Winter Olympic games, here is a little "Top 10 Things You Can Expect From The Winter Games".

10. An American favorite choking in some sport - well there you go Lindsey Jacobellis literally just bit it . . . . AGAIN.

9. The word magicality being used by some mindless commentator a.k.a most likely during a pairs figure skating routine.

8. An interview with Dick Button about the wonders of male figure skaters and Bob Costas trying to act interested.

7. Scott Hamilton's high pitched screaming with arousal when another male figure skater pulls a triple toe lutz to perfection.

6. The Russian and/or French judge(s) screwing some USA skater out of something

5. A "look-back' to the 1980's Miracle on Ice - Who doesn't love that (unless your Russian).

4. A male figure skater being referred to as the "Bad Boy" of male figure skating. Really? A bad boy in male figure skating? I am pretty sure this means his outfit is not bedazzled.

3. McDonalds commercials that try and make us to believe that world-class Olympic athletes actually eat their food.

2. A former eastern bloc country athlete dominating in their sport and responding with an ever gleeful catatonic stare on the medal stand.

1. Someone some where trying to justify curling as a sport. I think next Olympics they also ought to add ice checkers

Carson Leslie

2010-01-17T01:15:00.004-06:00

Those of you who have frequented this blog know from my previous posts about my friend Carson (See My Friend Post - September 14) who a little more than three years ago was diagnosed with Medulloblastoma, the most common form of pediatric brain cancer. Carson fought bravely and consistently throughout his battle and unfortunately for us, Carson lost that battle last Tuesday about 3:45 am.

Despite the 22 years difference between us, Carson was one of my dear friends. Incredibly honest, funny, quick witted, athletic and was never one to let his disease define who he was. Carson would often be heard talking about his life verse, Joshua 1:9 - Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." He would say "I am neither strong or courageous, but God is and I can take comfort in that."

Before his death, Carson's wish was to write and publish a book about his journey. That wish came true and his book Carry Me is now published and in its first printing. Carry Me was written to give a voice to the teenagers and children who have cancer but are unable to express how such an illness affects their personal, social, physical, and emotional life. Carry Me will help others understand how to be a better friend to someone they know that has a life threatening disease.

Carson said, "Even though every day of my life is a battle, I have learned that God is always there to lift me up, and I live each day as if it were the Day of Judgment. I believe my story will give readers a new perspective on the importance of how words and/or actions affect those around them. I wish to make a difference, and I know others my age want to do the same. Maybe after they read my book they will discover how to live the struggle . . ."

I love and miss my friend dearly, but hope you get a chance through his pages to get to know a little bit about this man who showed us all what it was to live.

If you would like a copy of the book, you can fill out the form here or send a check for $17.95 to:

Carry Me - CarsonLeslie
Suite 102
16250 Knoll Trail Dr.
Dallas, TX 75248

Another One In The Books

2010-01-05T19:19:00.006-06:00

So another year has passed and with it another decade. Pretty amazing to think that just a short ten years ago the word "blog" was not known to 99% of the population and the 1% who claim they had a vision for what a blog is are lying.

By now we have all seen the Top 10 lists of the decade, the year etc. but I thought I would add a little of my own top stories of the year/decade. Some of these stories you will know, others you may not, but for what its worth here we go. (Please note that these stories are in no particular order and the names have not been changed to protect the innocent).

10. Bonnie Shaw gets in trouble for the first time ever!

Yes, this is a noteworthy event as Bonnie Shaw was well into her thirties when this occurred. Bonnie, is a mom at our school, who accompanied us on an overnight field trip to Galveston a few years back. On the way home after a stop at Starbucks we set-up a ruse to make her think we were going to spill hot coffee on her . . . she bought it big time. She then decided to hit the empty cup which flew through the air and hit our bus driver Gus in the back of the head. Gus yelled, Bonnie ran to her seat and we then had to destroy the WWBD (What Would Bonnie Do?) yarn bracelets we had made as the pure as the driven snow veneer had forever been tarnished.

9. The Office Premiered on NBC

Of course you know this and for those who don't know what The Office is please stop reading. This show is perhaps one of the greatest things to ever hit a television screen and for a television lover like myself has made my Thursday nights that much better (That's what she said!)

8. Every Day Society Considers to Entertain

I mean where else can you find stories so entertaining as the White House Party Crashers or thieves that rob a restaurant then sit down and eat. Think about what the next 10 years will bring and all the stupidity that will come with it.

7. OJ Got His

What goes around comes around

6. 27

My beloved Yankees finally overcame the curse and won World Series number 27! Let's all just bask in that greatness

5. Fast Food Tried to Get Healthy (With One Notable Exception)

In the last 10 years fast food joints tried to put on their best healthy face and delude the public into thinking that they could actually get a healthy meal in 2 minutes and from a Value Menu. That is except for our friends at Burger King who have made no discerable effort to even try and make like they care about health. As a matter of fact in a stand of what appears just health defiance, Burger King has introduced killers like the Triple Whopper w/Bacon which sports a robust 96 grams of fat. So while the others are health evangelists Burger King continues to march to the beat of its own lard drum and play Get Your Fat Ass Here!

4. Speaking of Delusional: Give Me a T Give Me a S Give Me an A!

Yes, in the biggest attempted dupe job in history the US Government brings you the TSA. Who here doesn't feel better when walking through an airport and seeing the ever alert TSA agent frisk a 92 year old woman with a metal hip? You know she could be a threat! Yes, the TSA was brought to us in response to terrorist attacks and threats and we have never been the same nor will we ever be. I am glad the government felt the need to take the airport screening process out of the private companies hands only to hire back all of those screeners that once worked for the private companies. Nothing like the good ole' boys in Washington using their noggins for the good and safety of the American people.

3. We Got A Dog

After 14 years of marriage and four kids, we decided a good present for the kids would be to get a puppy for Christmas 2008. Now looking back on the chewed clothing, shoes and furniture, the dung coating on the underside of numerous shoes and the vet bills for grooming, neutering, shots, heart worm, flea meds, boarding and any other medical procedure you can think of, I think we made a good choice.

2. I Am Still Married

While for most people another decade of marriage would not prove to be anything monumental, that a woman the caliber of my wife Susanne would continue to be my wife with no signs of slowing down is indeed nothing short of a miracle. As one whose maturity peaked at 14 I am indeed grateful and yea even shocked that a woman would continue to press on in the face of such adversity

1. Luke

At the beginning of the decade Luke blessed us with his arrival and our family and those who have met him have never been the same. He continues to amuse us with his quick quips (most recent being "If you can put cookies in beer I will be the next Santa) and antics. He is a great kid and one that makes my heart happy as do all my children

Genesis Farms Nigeria

2009-12-31T10:08:00.004-06:00

About 18 months ago I had the opportunity to visit Nigeria and take in first hand the ministry of a dear friend. His ministry to orphans and widows is tremendous and is changing lives. This ministry has started a new project called Genesis Farms and are building Greenhouses in order to be a self-sustaining ministry and teach life skills to the children with whom they work.

Please watch this video and consider giving to this life changing work by clicking here.

Christmas

2009-12-25T21:43:00.004-06:00

Had a great day today and seems each Christmas gets better! Here are a few of my favorite things that happened today and some thoughts I have had:

Luke posing in his new robe and Wii pants which he has worn all day
Taking the boys sledding and being told it was "the most beast thing ever!" Can't beat that!
Chocolate pie
Pumpkin pie
Lauren and Luke making pie
Watching my kids give Susanne a present they had made and how proud they were of it
Talking to my niece Peyton and her telling me she loves me and will give me big hugs tomorrow
Crashing on the sled with Jonathan and laughing our heads off
Watching my boys wrestle and laugh
Relaxing with the family
Talking to my brothers
Being amazingly thankful for the friendship I have with my friend Carson and thinking of his family
Jeremy just proclaiming he does not want to be hot as he sits in front of a fire
Watching Harry Potter with the kids

I have had a great day and am very thankful for it!

I Will Be Getting This Book

2009-11-10T21:03:00.002-06:00

The Good Stuff - Here is the Official Description from The Publisher:

Sometimes, we fall in love on mission trips even though we know we’ll break up when we get back.

Sometimes, you have to shot block a friend’s prayer because she’s asking God to bless an obviously bad dating relationship.

Sometimes, you think, “I wish I had a t-shirt that said ‘I direct deposit my tithe’ so people wouldn’t judge me.”

Sometimes, the stuff that comes with faith is funny.

This is that stuff.

Jonathan Acuff’s Stuff Christians Like is your field guide to all things Christian. Like a satirical grenade, Acuff brings us the humor and honesty that galvanized 730,000 online readers from 209 countries in a new portable version. Welcome to the funny side of faith.

No Glamour

2009-11-05T20:19:00.006-06:00

A few months ago I was on a plane headed from Tampa to Dallas next to an all to perky lady who was so excited to be on her first business trip. As she began to tell me all that she did and how much fun she was going to have with all of her business travel she had ahead of her I had one thought . . . . SUCKER!

After my recent trip from which I just returned, I can assure you that there is no glamour in business travel. Need proof, here are some low-lights of my most recent trip:

12:15 am

Arrive in Boston and go stand out to wait for the Rental Car bus to bring me to the Alamo counter. Upon arriving at the counter, I am met with a less than enthusiastic "Far Side" character looking man who speaks with all of the volume of of a church whisper and then gets frustrated when I say excuse me because I did not here. Mr. Boombox and I finish our transaction and despite his frustration with my poor hearing he upgrades me to a mid-size. I walk out to get my mid-size and there are none. After some discussion and a few more "excuse me's" I am finally in my car and headed to my destination. Did I mention it was a PT Cruiser? More on this later.

Day 1

12:52 am

I drive all of 35 feet and come to the gated outpost where I must brandish the contract that was just issued to me. This is where I meet Dennis Leary's ugly kid brother who is obviously quote bitter that he has the third shift in the Alamo Car Rental check-out post. I deliver my license and contract and Smiles begins tapping on a keyboard which brings on a strings of "damn it's" and other obscenities that would make a sailor blush. Finally my silent prayers are met and human wit has overcome the key board, I receive my contract and license back and manage to pull out of the lot without any harm (I was afraid during the course of his near mental breakdown that the third shift bitterness may have overtaken him at some point and in his insane rage he would have snapped and I would be abducted and stuffed in his freezer).

1:04 am

I drive 450 feet and am met with a toll booth where I part with almost $4.00. I am informed this is for the privilege of using the tunnel and that it beats swimming. I am so tired by this point that while my mind is racing with a swarm of comments, most of which include "Dumb Ass", I reply with a weak smile, take my change and drive on.

1:27 am

I pull into the hotel and check-in explaining to the agent that the last time I checked in after midnight I was assessed a full room fee and a cancellation fee and I need assurances this won't happen again. The peach of a woman behind the desk, we will call her Connie, give me a look that tells me she is thinking of a swarm of comments, most of which include "Dumb Ass", but because she is to tired she simply gives a weak smile and says "ok". I get my key, am told the general direction of the elevator and off I go.

1:31am

Arrive at my door and get that red blinking light when pulling my key out that tells you its not working. I begin to think I am at the wrong door or perhaps the third shift man in the Alamo outpost beat me to the hotel and wants to stuff me in his freezer. After a rain dance to the gods of business travel, the key works, I dump my belongings and go to bed.

Day 2

7:00 am

Alarm goes off, words I learned just six hours before from the Alamo outpost man come screaming into my conscious thoughts as I reach for the snooze.

7:09am

Alarm again, this time the words are audible and I wonder why in the world do they make the snooze 9 minutes? Would it kill them to just go an even 10? I ponder this thought for awhile and the words "Dumb Ass" come to my mind and I am beginning to sense a trend.

7:10am - 6:42pm

Spend all day working in the hotel room because it is $600 cheaper for me to be there a day before my meetings than actually fly in this day. Why? I have no idea, ask the airlines and insert running theme here.

6:49pm

Sit down at the local Chili's bar for a salad and a chicken sandwich. It is there I meet Jim who just retired in October. We speak about our families, his career in electronics, politics, sports and other various topics. He asks me what I do and when I inform him I run a company with my brother he becomes exuberant and the next 30 minutes are me giving our corporate pitch to a man I know damn well has no intention of buying.

7:28pm

Mark sits down to my right at the bar, Jim, who is to my left introduces himself and me to Mark. I take advantage of a quick breath taken by Jim to inform Mark that Jim and I are not a couple and have met simply by coincidence. Jim catches his breath and finishes by informing Mark that I am a CEO of a company. I suddenly feel like a show&tell item, we make small talk but refuse to make eye contact. I am still not sure Mark believes my story and Jim & I.

7:54pm

I announce my departure, shake hands with Jim and Mark and tell them how delightful it was to meet them both and walk out the exit alone. Mark has to believe me now . . . . . doesn't he?

9:13pm

Trying to get the hotel iron cord untangled so I do not look like a wrinkled mess on the next day's presentation. Have a close call with burning myself, escape unscathed

9:52pm

Crawl into bed and after some time finally asleep

Day 3

7:01am

Alarm, I hit snooze

7:10am

I see it is indeed 7:10 and while I know its been nine minutes it feels like 10 and I feel some kind of satisfaction that I have just outwitted the programmers of the universal snooze button.

8:25am

Head off to Starbucks before I go to my conference, need a good boost and look forward to a Venti dose of caffeine. Pull into the Starbucks and my key will not come out of the ignition and the car won't turn off. I laugh, but its a nervous laugh, as I know I can't get my Starbucks as leaving a running car in the parking lot is not an option. I turn the key, I plead, I pray, I dance to the gods of travel and get nothing!

8:28am

I call Alamo Roadside Assistance and inform them of my plight including extra emphasis on my inability to get coffee. My assigned agent, we will call her Mikayla, has me run through all of the steps I went through just 3 minutes prior minus the dance. FAILURE!

9:18am

Second call with Mikayla where I inform her that due to my being due in a meeting I will leave the PT (stand for piece of trash) Cruiser (sorry Mr. Iacocca I know you worked hard by the PT Cruiser sucks) running in the Marriott parking lot. Mikayla informs me to lock all the doors except for the back door on the drivers side. Apparently car thieves are thrown way off when only one door, especially the back-side driver door is left open.

11:00am - 2:13pm

Fight the Marriott wireless network to get a connection. Flashbacks to the Alamo outpost man come storming back.

2:14pm

Success! Connection made!

2:15pm

Are you ^%$*&($# kidding me, where did the connection go?

2:17pm - 9:41pm

Presentation, Q&A, dinner

11:48pm

Watch the Yankees wrap-up the game and celebrate their 27th World Series Championship!

I guess travel is not all that bad

27!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-11-04T23:53:00.001-06:00

Help For Those in Need

2009-10-27T21:39:00.005-05:00

There is no doubt that we are a country that has more than enough in terms of food and material wealth. For more than 1 billion people world wide who live on less than $1 per day, our world is foreign and a fantasy land at best.

Today you have an opportunity to help the poor and hungry across our world by participating in the One Upgrade Aid campaign and asking the Senate to support a bill that will dramatically improve the accountability and quality of U.S. foreign assistance to benefit millions of the world's poorest people.

Please take a moment and sign the petition now and help reach the goal of 50,000 - http://one.org/us/upgradeaid/index.html?rc=upgradeaidtafmt

Bono's Op-Ed

2009-10-19T21:23:00.003-05:00

The Following Op-Ed by Bono was published in the Sunday, October 18th NY Times

Rebranding America
By BONO

A FEW years ago, I accepted a Golden Globe award by barking out an expletive.
One imagines President Obama did the same when he heard about his Nobel, and not out of excitement.

When Mr. Obama takes the stage at Oslo City Hall this December, he won’t be the first sitting president to receive the peace prize, but he might be the most controversial. There’s a sense in some quarters of these not-so-United States that Norway, Europe and the World haven’t a clue about the real President Obama; instead, they fixate on a fantasy version of the president, a projection of what they hope and wish he is, and what they wish America to be.

Well, I happen to be European, and I can project with the best of them. So here’s why I think the virtual Obama is the real Obama, and why I think the man might deserve the hype. It starts with a quotation from a speech he gave at the United Nations last month: “We will support the Millennium Development Goals, and approach next year’s summit with a global plan to make them a reality. And we will set our sights on the eradication of extreme poverty in our time.”

They’re not my words, they’re your president’s. If they’re not familiar, it’s because they didn’t make many headlines. But for me, these 36 words are why I believe Mr. Obama could well be a force for peace and prosperity — if the words signal action.

The millennium goals, for those of you who don’t know, are a persistent nag of a noble, global compact. They’re a set of commitments we all made nine years ago whose goal is to halve extreme poverty by 2015. Barack Obama wasn’t there in 2000, but he’s there now. Indeed he’s gone further — all the way, in fact. Halve it, he says, then end it.

Many have spoken about the need for a rebranding of America. Rebrand, restart, reboot. In my view these 36 words, alongside the administration’s approach to fighting nuclear proliferation and climate change, improving relations in the Middle East and, by the way, creating jobs and providing health care at home, are rebranding in action. These new steps — and those 36 words — remind the world that America is not just a country but an idea, a great idea about opportunity for all and responsibility to your fellow man.

All right ... I don’t speak for the rest of the world. Sometimes I think I do — but as my bandmates will quickly (and loudly) point out, I don’t even speak for one small group of four musicians. But I will venture to say that in the farthest corners of the globe, the president’s words are more than a pop song people want to hear on the radio. They are lifelines.
In dangerous, clangorous times, the idea of America rings like a bell (see King, M. L., Jr., and Dylan, Bob). It hits a high note and sustains it without wearing on your nerves. (If only we all could.) This was the melody line of the Marshall Plan and it’s resonating again. Why? Because the world sees that America might just hold the keys to solving the three greatest threats we face on this planet: extreme poverty, extreme ideology and extreme climate change. The world senses that America, with renewed global support, might be better placed to defeat this axis of extremism with a new model of foreign policy.

It is a strangely unsettling feeling to realize that the largest Navy, the fastest Air Force, the fittest strike force, cannot fully protect us from the ghost that is terrorism .... Asymmetry is the key word from Kabul to Gaza .... Might is not right.

I think back to a phone call I got a couple of years ago from Gen. James Jones. At the time, he was retiring from the top job at NATO; the idea of a President Obama was a wild flight of the imagination. General Jones was curious about the work many of us were doing in economic development, and how smarter aid — embodied in initiatives like President George W. Bush’s Emergency Program for AIDS Relief and the Millennium Challenge Corporation — was beginning to save lives and change the game for many countries. Remember, this was a moment when America couldn’t get its cigarette lighted in polite European nations like Norway; but even then, in the developing world, the United States was still seen as a positive, even transformative, presence.

The general and I also found ourselves talking about what can happen when the three extremes — poverty, ideology and climate — come together. We found ourselves discussing the stretch of land that runs across the continent of Africa, just along the creeping sands of the Sahara — an area that includes Sudan and northern Nigeria. He also agreed that many people didn’t see that the Horn of Africa — the troubled region that encompasses Somalia and Ethiopia — is a classic case of the three extremes becoming an unholy trinity (I’m paraphrasing) and threatening peace and stability around the world.

The military man also offered me an equation. Stability = security + development.
In an asymmetrical war, he said, the emphasis had to be on making American foreign policy conform to that formula.

Enter Barack Obama.

If that last line still seems like a joke to you ... it may not for long. Mr. Obama has put together a team of people who believe in this equation. That includes the general himself, now at the National Security Council; the vice president, a former chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee; the Republican defense secretary; and a secretary of state, someone with a long record of championing the cause of women and girls living in poverty, who is now determined to revolutionize health and agriculture for the world’s poor. And it looks like the bipartisan coalition in Congress that accomplished so much in global development over the past eight years is still holding amid rancor on pretty much everything else. From a development perspective, you couldn’t dream up a better dream team to pursue peace in this way, to rebrand America.

The president said that he considered the peace prize a call to action. And in the fight against extreme poverty, it’s action, not intentions, that counts. That stirring sentence he uttered last month will ring hollow unless he returns to next year’s United Nations summit meeting with a meaningful, inclusive plan, one that gets results for the billion or more people living on less than $1 a day. Difficult. Very difficult. But doable. The Nobel Peace Prize is the rest of the world saying, “Don’t blow it.” But that’s not just directed at Mr. Obama. It’s directed at all of us. What the president promised was a “global plan,” not an American plan. The same is true on all the other issues that the Nobel committee cited, from nuclear disarmament to climate change — none of these things will yield to unilateral approaches. They’ll take international cooperation and American leadership.

The president has set himself, and the rest of us, no small task. That’s why America shouldn’t turn up its national nose at popularity contests. In the same week that Mr. Obama won the Nobel, the United States was ranked as the most admired country in the world, leapfrogging from seventh to the top of the Nation Brands Index survey — the biggest jump any country has ever made. Like the Nobel, this can be written off as meaningless ... a measure of Mr. Obama’s celebrity (and we know what people think of celebrities). But an America that’s tired of being the world’s policeman, and is too pinched to be the world’s philanthropist, could still be the world’s partner. And you can’t do that without being, well, loved. Here come the letters to the editor, but let me just say it: Americans are like singers — we just a little bit, kind of like to be loved. The British want to be admired; the Russians, feared; the French, envied. (The Irish, we just want to be listened to.) But the idea of America, from the very start, was supposed to be contagious enough to sweep up and enthrall the world. And it is. The world wants to believe in America again because the world needs to believe in America again. We need your ideas — your idea — at a time when the rest of the world is running out of them.

Bono, the lead singer of the band U2 and a co-founder of the advocacy group ONE and (Product)RED, is a contributing columnist for The Times.

Copyright 2009 The New York Times Company
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Hey Rush Take Some Responsibility

2009-10-16T12:45:00.005-05:00

For years the conservative talk show host, Rush Limbaugh, has railed against any democrat who dare have a voice that differs from the right. For years he has proclaimed righteously and indignantly about being right and moral and what is good for America. Rush has on his show berated his foes for not taking the proper responsibility for their words and actions, but now he is refusing to do that himself.

Limbaugh, was recently part of an investment group looking to buy the NFL's St. Louis Ram's franchise. However, when concern from other NFL owners and executives surfaced about Limbaugh's participation, he was summarily dumped as part of that team. The concerns arose as a result of Limaugh's own statements in 2003 and 2007 that were derogatory towards African-Americans and namely Eagles quarterback Donovan McNaab.

Now that Limbaugh is on the outside looking in, he is doing a great job of blaming everyone but himself. Today on his show Limbaugh blamed everyone from DeMaurice Smith, head of the NFL Players Association, to Reverend Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and of course President Obama (I am sure with all of the issues at hand, President Obama was deeply involved in throwing a monkey wrench into Rush's plans).

The one person Limbaugh has failed to blame here is himself. None of the men mentioned above were dismissed as analysts on ESPN for comments made about blacks in the NFL. None of the other men listed above posted comments on their website and made comments on their show comparing the black players in the NFL to gang members. Only Limbaugh himself made those comments and now that it is coming back to haunt him, the liberal media and the Presidents are to blame.

The truth is that the deal for Rush began to unravel when Jim Irsay and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell both had misgivings about Limbaugh and his stake in any ownership. I can't imagine these two men having it out for Limbaugh? As a matter of fact a recent study showed that 70% of NFL owners contributions went to the Republican party, so spin as he may, Rush was shunned by his own and deservedly so.

Limbaugh has nobody to blame but himself and the attempt to turn this into a right versus left argument and discussion is shameless and much of what is wrong in this country and only adds to the uncivil tone in among our politicians. It is time for Rush to take responsibility for his past careless statements and realize that when you are in his role, more will be required and more will be closely examined.

Rush, you doomed yourself with your mouth and careless words. You have nobody to blame but yourself and like we were told when we were children, maybe now you have learned your lesson. This is not a political issue, this is an issue of you throwing a temper tantrum as you did not get what you wanted. Grow up and a little thought before speaking would not hurt in the future.

My Friend

2009-09-14T22:28:00.000-05:00

Tiny Dancer

2009-09-06T18:05:00.005-05:00

There is a Power Ball billboard that adorns the right side of the road on one of our usual routes homes and displays the weeks estimated jackpot numbers for all to stare at and dream of what to do with all that money.

Last week as we made our way home my boys spotted the sign with an estimated $333 million jackpot! Could you imagine?!? . . . . and the discussion took off from there. Imagine all we could do with the money and just how would you manage it all? (It is times like these that are my favorite as I just like to listen.)

As the talk continued they shifted gears into their future jobs and how much they would make and then what they would do with it. My oldest Jonathan (14) mentioned how he would like to make video games, while Jeremy (12) discussed the riches he would amass by being a baseball player. Both also mentioned the aspect of charity which of course made me such a proud dad and just how great a job we had done with our children that they would think this way. My bubble was quickly burst when Luke, my 7 year old, decided to pipe-up and finally jump into the fray. Here is the rest of the conversation:

Luke: "Well, I know what I am going to do when I am older to make money."

Jonathan: "What's that Luke?"

Luke: "I am going to dance in the streets!"

Jonathan: "You are going to do what?!?"

Luke: Yup, that's what I'm gonna do, I am going to dance in the streets!"

And so there you have it, we are raising two charitable boys and one future street performer. I am so proud!

The Bacon Tree

2009-08-24T06:42:00.003-05:00

Last night we were sitting outside on the porch enjoying a nice breeze and a break from the usual summer temperatures. Luke & Lauren asked about the next time I would take them to breakfast and then the debate between Denny's & IHOP broke out. In the end I think it was a draw, but not until Luke announce that he "wished so badly that there was a tree that grew bacon, that way we could have it all the time!"

Love that imagination!

The Angry Sea & Dolphins

2009-07-28T15:47:00.007-05:00

These next two weeks the family and I are on vacation in beautiful Vero Beach. We are the ever lucky recipients of the generosity of friends who have given us the keys to their Florida kingdom, better known as their condo - all of 150 steps away from the beach.

Today was another lazy day of getting breakfast, applying copious amounts of sun screen and then making our way for fun in the waves and sand. After several hours of being on the beach me and the boys, a little way down from the girls, began having our own little WWE Smackdown. After some beatings were administered all around we stayed in the water and waves telling a few stories and jokes and having a great time.

It was at this time I made the decision as leader of this crew to teach my boys about the various dolphin species found in the Atlantic. We talked about the bottle nose dolphin, the black dolphin (this one is completely made-up I think) and the ever famous (in the Hidalgo house), the "Split-Back" dolphin. The Split-Back Dolphin for those of you who do not know has a uncanny resemblance to the human back side and so it was upon telling my boys to look out for such a creature that one appeared as if on cue. As expected, the dolphins sighting was greeted with howls of laughter and cackles for several minutes.

Once the hysterics were brought under control we decided to make our way to the shore and back to the condo for lunch. As we exited the water I noticed my 7-year old, Luke, pulling the bottom of his swim shirt down and lo and behold out peeked a small "Split Back" dolphin. Through the laughter of myself and the older boys here was our conversation:

Me: (laughing and trying to speak over the laughter of the older boys) "Luke, where is your suit? Why are you naked?"

Luke: (giggling) "well, I took it off to show you my 'split back' dolphin".

Me: (still laughing) "OK buddy but where is your suit?:

Luke: "Well when I took it off a wave knocked me over and I lost it!" (more giggles)

Me: "Why didn't you tell me you lost it?"

Luke: "I wanted to but I was under water"

So this note goes to anyone in the Florida Coastal Region - If you see a size 7-8 boys bathing suit that is white with orange Hawaiian flower print on it, please let me know.

Things I Have Learned

2009-07-22T16:24:00.002-05:00

I am sure many of you do not know these facts that I am about to share, but today I learned several things about the city of Miami, Florida. Here is a sampling of facts for you:

1. Did you know that in some sections of the city you could buy yourself a shark for around $10?

2. That you can be assured of the fish you get from Casablanca Fish Market as they do not just buy fish off the street?

3. Did you know that if you do not kill and then dispose of an animal in a proper manner it is a misdemeanor?

4. Did you know in order to sell a shark you need a license?

5. That in certain sections of the city due to the gun violence a shark carcass can actually be mistaken for a human body?

I hope you feel as enlightened as I did after I found these facts and if you dare to dispute you can verify them here: http://www4.wsvn.com/news/articles/local/MI126520/

Ridiculous!

2009-07-10T21:27:00.002-05:00

On March 14, Mario Reyes, a 59 year old husband and father was hit by a card and killed while leaving his job and heading home.

Today, NFL Wide Receiver Donte Stallworth, walked out of a Miami jail after serving 24 of his 30-day jail sentence. His crime? Stallworth was guilty of DUI manslaughter and was the one who took the life of Mario Reyes.

On June 7, 2007 officials from the US Department of Agriculture armed with a warrant found the remains of several dogs that had lost their lives during a dog fighting enterprise that was funded largely by Michael Vick, the former NFL quarterback of the Atlanta Falcons. For this crime Vick received a 23-month sentence and became the poster-boy for everything that was wrong with the NFL.

How are we this of course when a man who gets drunk (more then twice the legal limit in Florida) kills a man and walks in 24 days and a man who funds the killing of dogs must serve 23 months!?!?

Do not get me wrong, Michael Vick's actions and the events that occurred around the dog fighting ring he was a part of were cruel and grizzly to be certain. However, there are no puppies crying at night because their daddy's are not coming home ever again. There are no dog wives weeping for the loss of their husband and having to pick-up the pieces after the unexpected death of their husband because of the reckless behavior of Stallworth.

Something is definitely wrong here and our priorities are out of alignment when by our justice system we declare the lives of dogs more valuable then the lives of men.

My Brothers A Genius!

2009-06-29T11:57:00.001-05:00

The First Celebrity Has Died of The Swine Flu

2009-05-12T13:28:00.002-05:00

Headlines That Grab Your Attention

2009-04-23T14:03:00.001-05:00

This headline was just posted on ESPN.com

"Pens turn to Satan for Game 5, bench Sykora"

Whatever it takes!

Rick Reilly - Another Great Story

2009-03-18T08:37:00.001-05:00

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3967807

Please Use That In a Sentence

2009-03-06T11:43:00.003-06:00

This was an actual conversation I had last night with Luke, my 7 year old:

Luke: "Dad, one of my spelling words this week is dump".

Me: "That's great"

Luke: "I know, we have to spell it then use it in a sentence. Do you want to hear my sentence?"

Me: Yes!

Luke : "I just took a dump."

Me : "Luke, you are not going to do that tomorrow, do you understand?!"

Luke : "I know I was just goofing around"

Me: "I don't think you were."

Luke: "trust me I was."

I then waited for him to leave eye sight so I could laugh.

Emotions and Art

2009-02-16T15:39:00.004-06:00

As there was no school today my two oldest sons were invited to hang out with some of their friends late afternoon/early evening yesterday (Sunday) of which they gladly accepted. However, our youngest Luke was quickly the odd man out. When informed that he would not be going with them he started to bemoan his tragic existence and instead of throwing a tantrum decided to put his feelings into art . . . and just prior to finishing his masterpiece asked Susanne how to spell "really". I am thinking this could be the start of a life long career path.

Gotta Love Letterman

2009-02-12T23:33:00.000-06:00

Expect the Divorce Rate to Climb

2009-02-02T21:41:00.003-06:00

As if we have not had enough of reality TV's attempt to try and help losers . . . . I mean real people find true love, CBS has now announced plans to have a reality series based on arranged marriages. The series which as of now has been so creatively named (ready for this) "Arranged Marriage" will have couples who are married to a person of their families choosing and follow their marriages. I have an idea, lets set two trains going head-on and film that as well!

I think the idea of reality TV was a good one initially, but like many well intended things it has gone to far. However, with the networks lining up to try and get the next big show on their channel, here are a few I may pitch to the corporate suits:

LifeBoat: Based on the school game your teacher used to make you play, 10 people are in a Lifeboat and each week someone gets thrown overboard while the producers chum the water. The winner gets all of the 9 loser belongings in a season finale reading of the Wills.

Shot Gun Wedding: Kind of like the CBS show "Arranged Marriage" but in this one 7 very successful men are dropped into the hills of Kentucky. The one who makes it out without being forced into a marriage wins! The others? Well they are screwed!

Streak Show: 12 cities, 12 streakers, the lone non-arrested streaker wins and gets an all expenses paid month at a nudist resort

Softball Glory: The cameras follow grown men in a recreational softball league wearing shorts that are way to tight and are trying to relive their HS glory days by hitting a grapefruit sized ball pitched 15 miles per hour. The winning team gets to give their boys a rest and receives new Under Armor XL shorts

Bear Hunt: 20 Grizzlies in a 500 acres of wood completely fenced in. 10 men each with a fire-arm of choice but only 10 rounds of ammo. Who goes first, bear or man?

Excommunication: This one is a one-nighter only as it follows a college student who attends the Southern Baptist Conventions Annual gathering wearing a Barack Obama T-Shirt.

Monkey On The Loose!

2009-01-15T16:09:00.006-06:00

Imagine this. You are a young reporter trying to get your big break when you editor walks into the room and says "hey kid, got a story about some loose monkey in Tampa, go check it out." I am not exactly sure how this particular story went down, but the headline has to make one wonder - what the hell?

"Feces-throwing Monkey on the Loose in Tampa Bay"

Are you kidding me? Really! This makes the news?

There are so many things about this story but the best line of the story says it all . . . .

"The monkey is not considered dangerous."

I am not sure what the Websters definition of dangerous is, but I would like to disagree! Anything that has the ability to hurl poop is in my book considered dangerous and would like a new warning put out to the citizens of Tampa as they have been misinformed.

LEAVE IT THERE

2009-01-12T21:48:00.006-06:00

As we are now 12 days into the new year I am hopeful that we have learned some lessons and leave some things where they belong, in the past, as in 2008.

1. Britney Spears, Angelina Jolie & Miley Cyrus - please I beg all media and trash rags out there, let them go, we do not need to hear about them any longer and their clothes, their 85 children and whatever else they do. We do not care

2. OJ Simpson - Actually he will be behind (as in bars) for quite awhile so no worries there. I hope he does not read this or I will be very nervous come parole time. If he does read this please send me your address in prison and I will mail you your football card so you do not barge in my home and take it.

3. Bailouts! For the love of all the taxpayers everywhere, if you screw up your company syonara!

4. The BCS. What a sham! I mean really a bunch of old guys in Depends Undergarments deciding who gets to play for the National Championship. Really?!?

5. The War a.k.a FUBAR in Iraq and while we are at it let's throw in Gitmo.

6. The 7 year drought. I refer to the 7 years we Yankee fans have had to endure with no World Series.

7. High Gas Prices. I am liking the south of $1.65 and we should keep it there

8. The Big Three. Note to Execs at GM, FOrd and Chrysler . . . if your products suck and overseas competition makes better product, you will lose.

9. Band Wagon Red Sox fans. You know who you are and if your hat was made post 2004 and it was your first one . . . you are a bandwagon fan.

10. The NHL. Does anyone care?

We Got One

2008-12-28T06:08:00.005-06:00

With every Christmas comes that moment of weakness. That moment when the pleas of children and wife overtake you.

You succumb and finally exhale and say . . . . "ok, ok, we will get one."

The issue is this. While you are saying ok with reluctance, you know deep down inside what will happen. You know that despite your best efforts, despite all appearances to the contrary you know, you just know that you will enjoy it as much as the rest of the family.

You know that no matter what you say, the fact that you are blogging at 6:27 am on a Sunday and while doing so this puppy, the thing you were so resistant to for so long, is on your lap sleeping means only one thing . . . . .

YOUR A SUCKER!!

So yes, I admit it and openly confess. We got a puppy for Christmas and he is pretty darn cute.

I feel better now!

This is a Blow to the Moral Majority

2008-12-18T21:51:00.005-06:00

So it was no secret during the election that a good number (changed the wording from original text) of evangelicals went on the attack against then Democratic nominee, now President Elect Barack Obama. The clamor from the evangelical right ranged from discontent, to rage, to red herring attacks against the man, his character, his ethnicity and his claims of faith.

Well it looks like these dear folks are in a real pickle now . . .

Today it was announced that Pastor Rick Warren of The Purpose Driven Life and Saddleback Church fame will be giving the Invocation at the inauguration of our next President.

OOPS!

I guess all of those folks who openly doubted the faith of those who supported and voted for Obama now have to do the same with Warren . . . that is if they want to be consistent and I would think because they stand on such principle that consistency would be of utmost importance.

Hmmmmm, makes me think the Moral Majority is in full crisis mode and getting the spin machine ready. This one is a blow to the group for sure!

The American Dream

2008-12-07T16:51:00.007-06:00

I have been thinking lately of the "American Dream" and all that it means. I mean only in our country do we have talk of this illustrious dream and over the last few weeks I have thought long about its meaning.

After much thought, I think I now know what it means!

You see, I thought that the American Dream was the story of someone who had nothing, but through hard work, determination, a little self-created luck and smarts worked out a living and made something of themselves. This dream was then shared with others less fortunate and used to propel others to achieve their dreams.

I sure do feel cheated and a little stupid in believing in this ideal because I can see now I was oh so wrong.

I now see the America Dream is really starting at the bottom and working your way up to the top (whoever you have to step over be damned).

While you are at the top you get to live an immensely lavish lifestyle, get unreal perks and benefits and make untold millions and get oodles of stock options to boot.

You then get to over time, nuke the company profit margin and drive it into millions if not billion dollar losses all the while never giving up a dime of your pay package and somehow allowing your board of directors to allow you to stay at the helm.

At the same time, you get to lay-off (i.e.. screw over) your employers slash costs that affect others but not yourself and preach sacrifice (i.e. try to convince them it's OK they are getting screwed) to your employees, while never making any yourself.

As an added bonus if the route to your dream is the US Auto industry you also get the luxury of not responding in a competitive fashion while the foreign automakers kick your ass from Detroit to Tokyo.

Then comes the best part of the dream. Once all is lost and you realize your dream is about to crumble like a sand castle that has been hit by the ocean tide (seriously this is by far the best part of the dream) you get to phone a friend. These are not just any friends, these friends are powerful law makers and on top of it they think nothing of taking the money of other people (i.e. taxpayers - see those who are getting screwed) and giving it to these men at the top so they can continue to run their companies with the same poor management, bad decisions and investments that got them into this quagmire in the first place.

As part of this dream, you do not even have to make any concessions . . . . none at all!!! You get to keep your job, live the lavish lifestyle and get your benefits and have no guilt over the people whose lives you have ruined!

Oh wait, you may have to feign a little remorse at how your company ended up in this situation and act like you care when you have to announce lay-offs. There is an off chance as well that you may, and I repeat, may have to give up a couple of the corporate jets. Other than that, you just get to keep on dreaming!

WOW!!!!

Only in America can one dream like this! We are so lucky to have dreamers among us, can you imagine where we would be if we didn't?

Bumper Stickers

2008-12-06T16:28:00.002-06:00

I hate bumper stickers. I have never had one nor will I ever have one as I just don't see the point. So many of these stickers as well have the cheesiest "Christian" statements on there and are to somehow convey a message. The only sticker I saw that ever made me laugh was in Colorado that said "I was going to go to work today, but the voices in my head told me to stay home and clean the guns." But I digress

I was reminded of my distaste for these stickers when today as I was passing a Toyota Camry one read "Do not judge the car, my treasure is in heaven."

What is that supposed to mean anyway?

Are we to deduce that this person is not impacted by material possessions and therefore lowered themselves low enough to buy a Camry?!?

Does this person understand that laying your treasures in heaven was actually a Jewish phrase that was understood to mean giving to the poor?

Does this person know that 92% of the world does not have a car and therefore when they see one with a car they do judge . . . . . and come to the conclusion of rich!

I think my issue was not so much with the sticker, as with the message . . . . as it is with most of them.

Tomorrow

2008-11-26T18:33:00.003-06:00

The words of the Dave Matthew's song "I eat too much, I drink too much, I want too much . . . " will apply to just about all of us tomorrow. We will gather with friends and family and enjoy the amazing blessings that we have been given simply by being fortunate enough to be living in the richest country in the history of man. Despite our country's "financial crisis" we are still better off than the more than 2 billion people that live on less than $2.00 per day.

While I am not bashing Thanksgiving or the gathering with friends and family, I am asking that during this weekend holiday as you are recounting all of the many things for which we have to be grateful, you would consider providing something, anything to those who are much less fortunate.

Below are some links to some organizations, both global and domestic, that I have known and greatly respect will allow you to share your thanks with the poorest of the poor and those who would give anything to be at our tables tomorrow:

GO Nigeria - An organization whose mission is to provide food, water, clothing, medical care, education and other basic needs to thousands of orphans and widows living in Nigeria.

Mercy Street Dallas - A ministry whose mission is to instill values, worth and a sense of purpose into the youth of West Dallas

World Vision - Building a better world for children

A Man's Domain

2008-11-23T20:13:00.006-06:00

In the last few months I have made the decision to make going to the YMCA for a workout a regular routine. While there have been numerous benefits to this (stress relief, staying in shape, etc.) However there is one great negative involved! The great misfortune of working this into my day, when time permits, is I am forced to be one of the many to use the men's locker room during the day.

This statement may cause some of you to instantly think that I am a never-nude or have some deep seeded fear of walking around . . . . . um shall we say, "naturally" with other men. This is not the case at all. I have no issues and could state specific examples that support this claim, but I will spare the details for the benefit of all 7 readers (yes, I now have 7 as I had someone tell me they just started reading!).

The issue is not the locker room per se, but the things one is subjected to when using the facilities. It is after several months that I have made the decision to put my foot down and develop a standard set of 5 rules for men's locker rooms. My hope is that in doing so these rules will be adopted the world over:

1. When in the shower, no groaning, grunting, moaning or anything close. I am not sure why some decide to make like rhino's mating once they close that curtain, but it is disturbing and on the off chance my children are also in the locker room, I do not need another thing to have to explain away

2. No Loofa's! I am embarrassed that I even had to list this one, but the other day as I took my non-moaning shower, I opened the curtain to grab my towel and was face to face with a violet loofa hanging on the hook. It took all I had within me to not scream out in horror. I kid you not; for a minute I thought I was in the wrong locker room, had I not heard a slight grunt I would have been in a dead panic.

3. If there are three urinals and they are not being used by anyone, do not choose the middle one for yourself. Being the one guy using the middle of the urinal is akin to bringing 17 items into the 10 and under express line. You are just daring someone to say something and really, who has the desire to pee that close to someone else. If you have a choice of far right or far left, pick it!

4. Use a towel. If you exit the shower, please use a towel to dry off. This is not an Abercrombie & Fitch photo shoot and water droplets on your out of shape body do nothing for anyone. This rule is especially important to those who believe it necessary to sit on the wooden benches with no boundary between the wood and themselves. Nobody wants to sit in the after puddle (EWWWWWWWWWWWW).

5. No commenting on your fat belly while rubbing it. I think this one needs no explanation

So these are the rules. I think these are well within the realm of reason and trust that soon in gyms everywhere we will see these posted in plain sight and we can all agree to the honor system as this would be a lot better than having monitors in orange vests patrol our facilities.

Happy Holidays!

2008-11-14T10:15:00.000-06:00

Truly Amazing

2008-11-05T10:23:00.002-06:00

I am amazed by what I saw last night and see today. I am not talking about the historic events that occurred last night in our country, which are indeed amazing. I am talking about some of the shameful and saddening behavior I have seen and continue to see from my Christian brothers and sisters leading up to this event and now in the wake of it.

By the sounds of things coming from those in the American church we ought to pack up our tents and call it quits because Barack Obama is now our new President. I have seen, heard and read some incredible things leading up to the election. Such as the following:

the reckless and irresponsible Letter from 2012 in Obama's America by James Dobson's Focus on the Family

denials by many believers of Obama's claim of faith in Jesus Christ

labels and character smears against the then candidate by his own brothers in Christ who supported John McCain

Now, not even 24 hours after the election, I have heard and read things from Christians like:

"God Help us" (I guess we did not need to pray this before?)

"We are doomed"

"America what were you thinking this is such a disappointment"

"We elected this idiot now we will pay for this"

"We are mourning the death of our country"

Why does all of this amaze me? Because by the sights and sounds of it we as a body of believers have forgotten

who we serve

who the real enemy is

where are hope is

that we should be working more towards the Kingdom of God not the Kingdom of America

Jesus does not belong to a political party. He has his own agenda and His own Kingdom and no matter who was elected last night, He is still on His throne and our hope is in that and that alone.

Yet, I see so many people who claim Jesus as Lord acting defeated, hopeless and sad to say hateful because of this election.

What is needed is a call to repentance and making our calling a priority. To love, to serve, to be a light of the truth, of love and saving grace of Jesus to a lost and dying world. Measuring the actions and the words I have seen by so many believers in the past months, we have strayed far from that

Paul in his letter to the Galatians said: "I am amazed that you are so quickly deserting Him who called you by the grace of Christ, for a different gospel" God help us is right . . . . for our Gospel is not the government or a specific party and may we stop chasing it as if it is.

Let's Start Over

2008-10-29T07:41:00.003-05:00

We are less than 6 days away from the election. Won't it be nice t not have your phone ring with a message from John the former Police Chief who knows why he is voting for his candidate? It will be nice to have have to see another political ad and just think of all the money that will be made by the bumper sticker companies when on November 5th they begin selling "Don't Blame Me I Voted for the Other Guy" stickers.

While 2008 is practically in the books, I propose that we look ahead to 2012 with a determination to start over. Yes, thats right, lets start over! This starting over includes the house, the senate and surely the Presidency. In looking at the polls and in listening to people speak , the one thing I think that everyone agrees with is that we are all disgusted with our government and what it has been become. So if we are a people who are truly as industrious as we have been told in this election cycle, then lets start over!

I think we start over with a focus on the following:

A promotion of strong humanitarian values that still exist in this country. This includes what was written in our Declaration of Independence that ALL men are created equally. This means the born and the unborn. All people are created in the image of God no matter their color, their race, their economic status, their sexual preference or gender and we need to understand this as a United people
A strong education system. This includes allowing private schools to compete for the dollars given to the public schools systems in the way of vouchers. By introducing competition, the top public schools will rise to the top while the non-performers will either have to improve or die. Private schools in the meantime can continue to flourish (yes this also includes charter schools)
Stewardship of the taxpayers dollars. Taking a page out of the GE model, if a program or department is not working and producing benefit, it gets shut down and rolled into another one. The answer is not more money thrown at the problem, the answer is expecting top performance. This also includes a fair and balanced tax code that allows more Americans to keep the money they have made but also requires all Americans to put something into the pot to keep this country moving forward.
A strong focus on the environment. This includes looking at alternative methods for fuels and doing so in earnest. Working with the energy and oil companies to fund the most economic and environmentally safe methods for generating energy. In my discussions and reading it appears that nuclear (while a bad word to some) is the one thing that fits this bill.
Term limits for congress. When someone has been at a job for 25-30 years, they are usually getting a retirement party. In congress they get to run again. We have term limits on Presidents and Governors and we should do the same in congress. 8 years and you are done and thank you for your service to our country.
Use our status as a Super Power to address the needs to of the global and domestic poor. If we took 2% of our defense budget and put it towards the education and the health of the global poor we could wipe out this issue of starving children world-wide and those who die of curable disease. This would still leave us with the largest defense budget in the world.
A strong defense. This includes our intelligence agencies (FBI, CIA, etc.) to be proactive and ward off attacks and ensure that we are aware of the threats around us. This does not mean a war monger mentality and protracted wars as we are in now.
Not just bigger or smaller government, but better government. Government that truly is there to supply the people what they would not be able to supply to themselves. This starts largely with providing the states with the ability to legislate what is best for the people of that state. The Federal government should not try and dictate those things that are better left to state control.

These are just some of the things that I think we as a people should look to do in 2012. Instead of having the candidates tell us what the issues are and what their solutions are, we should be setting the agenda for them and letting them know we believe is it time to start over.

Idealism

2008-10-09T13:41:00.003-05:00

Last week I had the opportunity to correspond with a friend over e-mail regarding the issue of abortion. The e-mail began because my friend, knowing I am a christian, incorrectly assumed that therefore I must be voting and registered with the Republican Party, (I am not sure why this assumption is prevalent among evangelicals today but that is perhaps for another post) sent me an e-mail demonizing Barack Obama. When I replied to the e-mail with a rebutal, her reply was terse and to the point . . . . "you are going to have to help me understand why you would vote for this baby killer?"

I found the label of baby killer rather irresponsible seeing as he has never killed a baby (compared to the hundred if not thousands that have been killed in Iraq as a result of the US invasion) and that anyone who has spent their money with Wells Fargo, Wachovia, Johnson & Johnson, Disney, etc. has contributed to abortion in an indirect way as all of these organizations fund or have funded Planned Parenthood. However, I responded particularly to the abortion issue with 5 reasons as to why I did not view this as an issue in the race. At the risk of turning off my 6 readers, I only list reason number 3 that was in the e-mail:

I believe the issue of abortion is about the hearts and mind of people. Morality cannot be legislated if the hearts of the people are not inclined to truth and this is where I believe the church has failed miserably. We have made the pro-choice crowd, Planned Parenthood and women who get abortions our enemy when indeed the prince of darkness is the enemy and our neighbors are the victim. I wonder what would change if we as a church began to serve these people, began to love these people instead of picket them and label them. I wonder what would change in a woman’s heart if we explained to her that we cannot understand her pain & confusion as she tries to make this decision. If we loved her enough to tell her that while we hope and pray she would spare the baby, that no matter what her choice God loves her and Jesus Christ died for her. What would begin the change then? I believe a good majority of believers have abdicated this responsibility to government and instead opted to “get the right guy in office” so that they can “appoint the right judges.” This has proven a faulty formula for the last 35 years, but when the love of Jesus is brought to a lost world, it changes hearts every time.

The reply back to this by my friend caught me more off guard then the baby killer comment as it stated that I was "so idealistic." Hmmmmm, so idealism is now defined at bringing the truth of the love of Jesus to a lost and dying world? If that is idealistic . . . . . sign me up!!

Can You Name Just One???

2008-10-02T01:12:00.002-05:00

So whether or not you agree with the answers given by either Biden or Palin, one would hope that someone looking to assume the second highest office in the land would have knowledge of more than one Supreme Court case?

I also find it interesting that she states that if she is VP show would not be in a position to overturn those decisions. What does this say for the Republicans that use Roe v. Wade as a rallying cry for the religious right?

Watch CBS Videos Online

I Like This Plan

2008-09-25T17:50:00.002-05:00

I was sent this e-mail today and it simply focuses on AIG. Imagine if it included the entire $700B!

This idea sounds just crazy enough to possibly work, so naturally it won't be given serious consideration. How great is our bureaucracy!!

I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG. Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend.

To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S. Citizens 18+.
Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up. So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billion that equals $425,000.00. My plan is to give $425,000 to every p erson 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend.

Of course, it would NOT be tax free.

So let's assume a tax rate of 30%. Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes.

That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam, but it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket. A husband and wife has $595,000.00.

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?

- Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved.

- Repay college loans - what a great boost to new grads

- Put away money for college - it'll be there.

- Save in a bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs.

- Buy a new car - create jobs

- Invest in the market - capital drives growth.

- Pay for your parent's medical insurance - health care improves.

- Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean - or else!

Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at

Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.

If we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it...instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 ("vote buy") economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.

If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!

As for AIG - liquidate it. Sell off its parts. Let American General go back to being American General. Sell off the real estate. Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

Here's my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn't.

Sure it's a crazy idea that can "never work."

But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party!

How do you spell Economic Boom?

I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion

We Deserve It Dividend more than the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC

And remember, The Birk (I do not know who he is but I like this) plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Ahhh...I feel so much better getting that off my chest.

Suspended

2008-09-24T20:49:00.002-05:00

Senator John McCain announced today that he will be suspending his campaign in order to deal with the economic crisis that currently exists.

This suspension raises a few questions for me; none of which will probably ever be answered but that I will pose anyway.

1. With a 26 year career in Washington and one that has been marked by calling for less regulation of the financial markets, why does Senator McCain suddenly feel that he has to insert himself now? What was he doing the previous 26 years?

2. Does anyone else find it just a little coincidental that the suspension of McCain's campaign has come on the day where multiple polls have shown Obama's lead expanding?

3. Why were Presidential campaigns not suspended during The Civil War, The Great Depression or World War II, but today McCain thinks his should stop so he can tend to the financial markets?

4. If Sarah Palin is as capable to lead as McCain claims, why would he not just cede control of the campaign to her while he tends to the matters in Washington? Why suspend at all? Would it not seem odd that if you are trusting her to possibly someday have to run the country that you would not also trust her with your campaign?

Check The Facts

2008-09-13T20:33:00.003-05:00

Over the course of the last few weeks I have heard many claims about things that have been said in this election which are categorically false. So I urge you regardless of what party or shade of lipstick you prefer you check your facts before believing something stated in a news conference or a platform.

www.factcheck.org

What in the World?!?

2008-09-05T22:48:00.003-05:00

This is not a fake, this is an actual video that this poor slob made for his fiance'. By all accounts, they are still together which is a miracle that she would say yes after seeing this!

The Tax Debate and The Truth

2008-09-05T20:21:00.004-05:00

So throughout the last few days you have heard many accuse Barack Obama that he would raise taxes on most Americans should he be elected President. In the name of not believing everything you hear, the following appeared in the Washington Post.

A new analysis by the Tax Policy Center, a joint project of the Urban Institute and the Brookings Institution, Democrat Barack Obama and Republican John McCain are both proposing tax plans that would result in cuts for most American families. Obama's plan gives the biggest cuts to those who make the least, while McCain would give the largest cuts to the very wealthy. For the approximately 147,000 families that make up the top 0.1 percent of the income scale, the difference between the two plans is stark. While McCain offers a $269,364 tax cut, Obama would raise their taxes, on average, by $701,885 - a difference of nearly $1 million.

45 Years

2008-08-28T19:07:00.006-05:00

45 Years ago today, Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his famous "I Have a Dream" speech. While the speech is well known the full content of the speech has been seldom read in its entirety.

Below is the full text of the speech and the full video of the speech:

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languished in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. And so we've come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we've come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds."

But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice.

We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.

The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.

We cannot walk alone.

And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead.

We cannot turn back.

There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their self-hood and robbed of their dignity by a sign stating: "For Whites Only." We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until "justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream."¹

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. And some of you have come from areas where your quest -- quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive. Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."²

This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.

With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:

My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.

Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,

From every mountainside, let freedom ring!

And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true.

And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.

Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.

Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania.

Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.

But not only that:

Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi.

From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:

Free at last! Free at last!

Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!³

When Did This All Start?

2008-08-19T08:12:00.004-05:00

Over the past months my e-mail box has been the victim of Obamamania. I have received scores of e-mails from my Christian conservative friends about the dangers of voting for Obama and then at the end an impassioned plea to send this out if I care about my country.

Usually the e-mails start off attacking Obama as a Muslim and the danger that could bring to us as a nation. It then moves to his liberal idealology and voting record especially in the area of abortion. The e-mails go onto say that he is a danger to us because he wants to sit down and talk with Iran, North Korea and other rogue nations. The e-mails then draw to a close by telling me that Obama is not a christian, use some of the lines of his speeches out of context and have a quote from someone from Focus on the Family, Billy's Graham's staff or another prominent Christian organization saying why we should not vote for this man.

I find this all rather intriguing and for those who read my ramblings on this virtual bulletin board I would ask that you consider the following before you forward me a forward of a forward of a forward about Obama.

1. Consider that Obama's father was a marginal muslim (even described so as Obama himself). His father abandon the family when he was at a young age and Obama grew up actually quite jaded towards religion. Is he a christian? He says he did find Jesus and he claims to follow Him, so I cannot sit on the sidelines and judge. However, I am not sure when one had to be a conservative right wing Christian in order to be considered for the Presidency? If that was the case, most of our founding fathers would have never made the grade for they were deists and on top of it, many of them had very shallow morals (See Ben Franklin & Thomas Jefferson). We do need to examine our leaders, but there are many "Christians" I would not want running a business let alone a country. The claim that Obama is a closet muslim is a red herring at best. He does not claim this and the fact that he has a muslim name is like saying I am typical Cuban because my name is Carlos Alberto Hidalgo, Jr. While I take pride in my heritage, as does Obama, I am as white bread as they come and love my country.

2. Abortion: Obama has clearly stated that he is pro-choice. While I do not agree with that position, I also do not agree that anyone who is against abortion is necessarily pro-life. Carl Rove has done an excellent job in framing the pro-life debate around abortion and abortion only. While this is a huge issue, it must be noted that this is not the only issue. The care and concern of human life and preserving the sanctity of it extends well beyond abortion. What about the innocent women and children who have been killed in Afghanistan and Iraq by U.S. bombs? What about people who are starving to death around the world? What about the 16% of people in the U.S. who live below the poverty level and are in need of food, many of whom are children. We can't be pro-life and claim our care and concern for life and the preservation of it, when we are pro-war and turn a blind eye to the poverty crisis. One issue does not define the pro-life / pro-choice debate.

3. Rogue Nations: There seems to be a tremor of fear that Obama has actually dared suggest that we may be well served to sit down with leaders from Iraq, North Korea, Cuba, and other rogue nations to discuss our differences. This has earned Obama the dubiuous honor bestowed by some as not being able to handle this nations foreign affairs policy. Abraham Lincoln was quoted as saying "the best way to defeat my enemy is to make him my friend." Could that be what Obama has in mind? I find it ironic that the poster child for the conservative republican movement, Ronald Reagan, employed the same tactic with then USSR leader Mikhail Gorbachev. Could you get any more evil than the Russians? The threat of nuclear attack, communisim, the Wall . . . . and Reagan actually wanted to sit down with him face to face and discuss differences and our military? And to think that after his Presidency, Reagan actually dared called Gorbachev one of his friends?!? Maybe Reagan had a little Lincoln inside him and Obama has seen this as something positive.

4. I find it rather insulting that many of these e-mails end with the assertion that if you care for the future of our nation you will send this e-mail to friends. Is this to assume that those who will vote for Obama or Obama himself does not love this country? Is this to say that if I find the e-mail absurd and short of facts and relevant information that I do not care for my country?I worry that at times like these many are putting country before God. God does not see nationalities or countries. He sees people, He sees humanity and does not care about the flag they carry.

Whatever vote you cast this November is between you and the lever on the voting machine. I still have not made up my mind yet and if pushed right now would probably vote Libertarian. However, I am a little caught off guard that the Christian right has not so much taken up the cause of John McCain but gone against Obama because of the labels ascribed to him and what has largely been taken out of context in the form of his sound bites and speeches.

I wonder about this: What would happen if we spent as much of our time and energy trying to serve the homeless and needy in our communities as we do worrying about and sending e-mails about Obama? What impact that would make?

Pathetic

2008-08-13T14:30:00.002-05:00

I have been quiet most of the year but can't do it any longer. There is one word to describe the Yankees and that is pathetic. Actually there are many words to describe this team . . . lazy, old, dumb, heartless and many more. Sure the injuries have taken their toll on this team. Take away the ace and starting catcher from any team and that will have a big blow. Add onto that the starting third baseman for 21 games and the starting left fielder along with the number 4 starter and it is a recipe for disaster, but that can't be looked at for the poor performance as of late.

Need some examples:

In the first game of the series against Texas, Girardi brings in Damaso Marte who subsequently issues three walks to load the bases. Girardi does nothing, does not send Dave Eiland to go speak to him, does not get another pitcher working in the bullpen, he sits on his hands or brains and decides to let him continue to pitch . . . grand slam Rangers, game over - DUMB!

With a tied game against the Angels and Xavier Nady at the plate with a 3-0 count, Alex Rodriguez with his head firmly implanted in his posterior inexplicably takes off for third and is thrown out thus killing any hopes of a rally - DUMB!!

In the same game with the score tied, Mariano Rivera comes in and gets Chone Figgins to hit a dribbler between first and second. At the moment of contact, Wilson Betemit retreats to first base and Robbinson Cano watches as the ball goes through to the outfield and the winning run for the Angels crosses the plate - LAZY

On Monday night, fresh off getting swept by the Angels, in a must win against the Twins, Joe Girardi decides better to rest Johnny Damon and Jason Giambi. When asked, Girardi says it was not so much of resting Damon, but as preserving him. Um Joes, preserving him for what? With 44 games left and 5 games out of the wild card, you are only preserving him for being home in October - DUMB

On the same game on Monday, Cano lines to center and is sluggish coming out of the batters box. When the ball is bobbled he is unable to turn it into a double. When asked, Girardi says the lack of hustle was dealt with. Hmmmmm, really? - LAZY

The Yanks are old, playing like they are defeated and have no fire. They will be home in October and quite frankly will at least be better then watching them show the same lack of heart and desire as they have the last few years in the playoffs.

Night at the BallPark - A Picture Story

2008-08-10T21:39:00.020-05:00

A Tribute

2008-08-04T14:18:00.003-05:00

As you can see from my lack of posting, I spent most of July away from Dallas and had little if any time to write, but am back in the swing of things so will be a bit more regular.

I received an e-mail this morning from an old friend informing me of the death of a friend named Lousie Ely. I had the great fortune of being able to meet Louise when I was 5 years old at a camp in Upstate New York when I showed up for my horse riding lesson. Little did I know that this woman, with the cowboy boots and cowboy hat would be such a huge part of my life, but she was. I went from that little 5-year old boy who returned every Summer, to a 12-year old who worked in those stables and visited their ranch in Missouri numerous times, until I was 17.

When it comes to people who were instrumental in my life, the only woman I have known longer than my mother, was Louise Ely. Louise was a tough lady, hard working, opinionated, funny, never put up with much from people. She was direct, demanded a lot, and even with all that had one of the softest hearts and a killer smile in addition to being quick with a laugh. During my years of learning from and working with her I saw Louise and her impact on kids.

Through her tireless devotion Louise literally had the opportunity to impact hundreds if not thousands of kids over her 30 years of teaching kids how to ride horses. So many of the kids came back year after year just to be part of the horse program and see Louise. Louise was the camp. I saw her sensitivity with kids that were scared, mentally handicapped and others and her care and concern and the love she had for all of us was unmistakable and was one of the many things that made her unique.

The last time I saw Louise was two years ago. She and her husband Ray (the truest cowboy you will ever meet) had assumed their usual post on the seats under the trees at the stables. As I and Susanne walked up towards them, I felt myself begin to grin and was greeted with a hug from her and a hand shake from Ray that told me that my feelings for them were mutual. We sat for awhile catching-up and laughing about the old times. Times like when I was 12 and broke my nose by getting run over by one of their horses at camp and Louise held my head and kept saying "you really do not look that bad" (my nose was flat against my face and my eye was swollen shut), but that was Louise. We talked about the numerous times I went to their ranch in Missouri and rode side by side with Ray as we rounded up his horses . . . it was like I was the star in my own western. The conversation continued like that and the highlight for me was her being able to meet my children. As we left, I got that memorable Louise smile, a hug and then a look in the eye as she told me she loved me like one of her own kids and how proud she was of me.

Well Louise, I know I told you then, but I love you to. I love the way you looked after me when I was a little kid in your riding lessons, taught me about horses, taught me to love working hard and putting up with me when I was a teenager and loving me then. I love you for not budging an inch when I pushed you to the brink of wanting to ship me off. I love you for welcoming me into your home and treating me like one of your own. My heart is saddened at our loss as we lost one of the treasures. Louise Ely, a truly great woman.

One Step Closer to Nowhere

2008-07-02T21:54:00.002-05:00

The following post is from one of my journal entries that I wrote on one of our last nights on our Nigeria trip. These thoughts were scribbled in a notebook after spending 3 hours trying to collect them after a visits to "Bad Boys" and The Mission Hospital

There are no adjectives that could accurately describe the living hell hole of filth and humanity that we went to today. People . . . old, young, men, women, children with no hope. All of them gathered in little dark, filthy rooms drinking and smoking as if tomorrow they may wake up to a better life, only to be duped by their foolish dream and have to start all over again in the same place.

I have seen this up close. The faces I will never forget. The smells will linger long in my memory and yet I seem unable to conjure up much emotion, Why? Am I guarding something? Will I be afraid to be so vulnerable to weep over these people and their plight? I do not know why but my emotions are locked, numb by what I have seen and are either unable or unwilling to move.

This is the first I have been unable to write much of anything for several days and this after sitting in this chair for 3 hours. I have a lot to unpack mentally and emotionally and I am not quite sure how it will manifest itself. I think most of all I feel guilty Why am I so blessed? Why has God granted me all all that He has and does He regret giving it to me due to poor stewardship?

I go home Monday, back to my beautiful wife and amazing children. Back to my air conditioned home, my 2 cars, gas grill and all we cherish in America. This while all of these people get one step closer to nowhere. Why we share with them spiritually, what about physically, economically, socially? Where does it stop? Maybe the better question is where does it start and how can it stop sooner, before hell comes to earth.

After seeing all of this, I am more and more convinced that our role is to bring a little of heaven to earth. To take what we know of God, His goodness, grace, mercy & love and share it and in doing so bring a taste of heaven to them; to their desolate waste and provide a hope amidst the lament, a light among the dark rooms of the slums and a reassurance to a desperate mother who does not know if her new born will live or die. This is our missional work that we are here to fulfill. It is this that I have to believe that God used me for today. If I do not believe this sleep would not come. God make it so.

Sadness

2008-06-25T22:54:00.002-05:00

I received an e-mail yesterday from one of the team members who was part of the team that went with me to Nigeria. The e-mail informed me that one of the orphan boys at one of the centers we visited while there had died over the weekend. He was 15 and on Friday became ill and on Sunday passed away.

I cannot begin to describe how heavy my heart felt at receiving this news. This boy, in the prime of his life given a chance via Gidan Bege and suddenly dies. This is the first death that has occurred in the 10 years of these orphanages.

Please pray for the staff of Gidan Bege and the other boys in the home, I cannot imagine what they are experiencing right now.

Hope

2008-06-23T15:48:00.005-05:00

"We are heading to Blind Town."

This is what I heard one afternoon as we were prepping to go to the next ministry site. It was explained to me that Blind Town & Leper Town, as they have been named, are the places that people who have been afflicted with these infirmities have been assigned to live so that they are not among the other "clean" people. This place was on the edge of town and we piled in the van to go with the regular team from Gidan Bege as they went to administer medical care.

We arrived at Blind/Leper town and were instantly greeted by approximately 75 smiling and screaming children all anxious to make our acquaintance. The men in our group were then invited to go and meet the chief of the lepers as he had requested for us to meet him. At his request we made our way through a labyrinth of sun lit, small rooms none of which was bigger than 12 x 12. Some were used for sleeping and one which had a door on either side was used as a kitchen (attached photo).

We then came to a small opening in a wall and another room. No bigger than 10x10 and barely enough room to stand upright and no lighting other than the sunlight peering through. It was there were met the chief.

He extended what was left of his hand as he sat on the floor and with each hello and handshake he pressed his palm to his heart to signify his thankfulness that we were there. Via a translator we were able to speak to him and learned that he does not know how old he is, but has 11 children of which only 2 are still alive (The average life span of a Nigerian is 47). After the team checked his vitals we left and wandered back outside where the rest of our colleagues had been playing with the kids.

I and one of the staff from Gidan Bege sat on a ledge and spoke to some boys in their mid-teens. I asked them their age, what they liked and didn't like, etc. The smiles were gone, there was no light in the eyes and I saw only what can be described as despair. We talked awhile longer and eventually they got up and left leaving me with a very hollow stomach. I asked my friend who comes here weekly, "These children here, they all belong to lepers and blind folks?" He told me they did, they all live here in this place. I then asked, "so do they have any hope?" His response and his honesty shook me while at the same time taught me. "No they do not. Most of the girls will be married off around 14 and a few of the boys if any will try and get jobs, but most will not." He then added this, "so this is way we come back every week to bring medical care and play with them, it gives them something and we get to talk to them about Jesus." HOPE! This is the driving factor behind what we were doing, hope in the midst of chaos and despair.

I learned later from one of the others staffers we worked with that about 6 years ago some of the muslim clerics from the town came to meet with the leper chief and told him that he should not let the christians into his village and demanded that he keep them out. The chief responded with a series of questions . . . "Do the muslims care about us? Do the muslims bring us food? Do the muslims check our health and bring us medicine? No, the christians do, so they will stay in my village and are always welcome."

HOPE

That is what we bring in the form of medicine, in the form of food, in the form of laughter, playing, and through the Son of God. I guess my question as well as my friends answer was flawed, these children do have hope, I just had defined it incorrectly

People

2008-06-20T14:30:00.003-05:00

We left for Nigeria on June 1 from Dallas and eventually made our way to Abuja (Nigeria's capital city) around 4:30 am on June 3. By the time we cleared customs, got our luggage and got loaded and underway it was about 6:30 and we had a 4 hour ride ahead of us. As we wound our way through the city and on our way to Jos (capital city of the Plateau State) the one thing that was inescapable was the number of people. Nigeria is a country about the size of Texas yet is the most populated country in the entire African continent with more than 130 million people.

They were everywhere, walking along the streets, in huts as we passed, in fields working, riding the Chabahhs (little moped taxi's). I remember looking at my watch as it was only 7:30 and the sheer number of people that were up and down the roads was staggering. This many people in such a state of poverty . . . amazing. I was so tired yet did not want to sleep as I was afraid there was something I may miss.

What I did not miss was how quickly the Nigerian people were to smile. There is one thing about being in a city like Abuja or Jos that is different than our cities. In any big American city we see such a diverse population and various people groups. In Nigeria, being a white person, we stood out like a red wine stain on a white carpet. There was no missing us even behind the windows of our van. As we would slow to pass through a town or by a rail road crossing (this is a popular spot for street merchants) we would usually receive a wave and a smile. Everyone we met our two weeks there extended their welcome and a smile.

It all made me wonder, here these people are truly destitute, most of them hungry and without running water or electricity in their homes. The poorest of the poor, yet they smile, they welcome and want us to know they are glad to see us.

Here we are with all of the opulence the world could offer (today I sat at a restaurant with two of my Nigerian Trip teammates and we all commented on how many menu choices and how this concept would not sink in to one of our Nigerian friends) and yet we can barely summon up a smile for our neighbor or the cashier at the grocery store.

During one of our conversations with one of the elders at a Nigerian church we brought up the topic at how warm and friendly the people of his country were. He then smiled a great big smile and said "Nigerians love to smile because we know we have much to be thankful for!"

I wanted to ask "Really? You can't be serious!" I mean after all does he not see what is around him? Does he not understand all the stuff he is missing? And I guess that is what they get that we don't . . . its just stuff and it can never really make one happy.

More to come soon . . . still processing

Africa

2008-06-19T10:26:00.002-05:00

I have recently returned from a 2 week trip to Nigeria, Africa to see some missionary friends of ours who are supported by our church. It was quite an experience and one that I am still in process of unpacking mentally and emotionally. In lieu of sending a novel of an e-mail, I will be using this blog and my church youth blog to share my thoughts and observations over the two weeks. This will allow me the ability to write when new thoughts come in and the ability to process over time. All in all it was an incredible trip and one that I was thrilled to make. I am afraid that despite my attempts I will not be able to accurately describe all we saw or experienced but over the next several posts will do my best.

Thanks to all of those who held us in prayer during that time, we felt it most definitely!

Writing Helps Ease The Pain

2008-05-21T22:24:00.018-05:00

Several months ago one of our senior students in our youth group was telling me her parents were not going to be able to attend her senior band recognition banquet and as she was telling me she seemed quite sad. As her youth pastor, I told her that Susanne and I would fill in as her surrogate parents, after all how bad could it be?

Had I known what I had just signed us up for, I surely would have punched myself in the face for committing us to such a torturous event. Imagine someone asking you to come over for dinner and upon your arrival telling aimless tales of their childhood and just when one would end, another one would start. Then after several hours of this they ask you if you would like to consider the Amway opportunity. Think I am exaggerating, try this one for size . . . . the band recognition banquet LASTED 6 HOURS!!!!! No, that is not a typo, it lasted 6 long, belabored, drawn out hours. I have flown to Hawaii in less then 6 hours, Susanne has given birth to children in less than 6 hours (and according to her was less painful), I have 5 siblings and all of our college graduations combined lasted less than 6 hours. 6 Hours is a very long time and we endured every second of it.

Hour 1 - Welcome to The Band Dinner . . . . Also Known as Hell's Threshold

The evening started with our arrival at 6:00 pm at the hotel. We waited in the lobby with some freshman from the brass section until Tori arrived and began introducing us as "her parents". We took our seats at 6:15 and were hopeful that dinner would shortly follow. What followed was a long diatribe from Mr. Taylor the band director. He welcomed everyone and then began to draw an analogy between the kids in the band and the chef that was part of Dwight Eisenhower's troops. How these two things fit together I cannot tell you; what I can tell you was I was so hungry by that point that I almost ate the table cloth and the right hand of the man sitting next to me. I had just about lost all hope when I saw one of the side doors to the banquet hall swing open. I can tell you this, that never in the history of man has a little Mexican with a serving tray in their hands looked so beautiful. I cannot be certain, but I believe I saw a glow around their head, almost like that of an angel as one followed after another. We were finally going to eat!

Hour 2 - What The @$&#*!@$% Did You Just Say?

As we ate we were greeted with some of the most horrifying news I had ever heard come out of the mouth of another human. With a slight smile, the lady to the left of Susanne said, "it is so sweet for you guys to come and support Tori, especially since these things usually last about 5-6 hours. You guys are real troopers." Those words hit me with all the force of a city bus hitting an unsuspecting biker. My hands went numb and Susanne nearly had to do the Heimlich Maneuver on me as I could not swallow at that point. I had just been read a sentence from the bench and since our table, Table 8, was front and center, there was no way I was going to be able to escape. I managed to wash down my food and try to make sense of the confusion in my head while all of the band members a.k.a. Eisenhower's Chef's were given small plastic trophies to commemorate their service.

After the plastic trophies were handed down one young man was asked to remain. As he stood there dutifully, Mr. Taylor went onto a 15 minute explanation of the seamy underside of the band world in the state of Texas and how there are only an elite few who get recognized at a state level and so on and so on. Taylor was thrilled to have one of his men receive this recognition and used it as a chance to motivate more of his underlings to aspire to such great heights. I knew we were screwed!

Hour 3 - You Suck, No Really Great Having You in The Band, But You Suck!

As we wrapped up our dinner, Mr. Taylor bounded onto the stage with all the energy of a 5 year old fresh off a 3 hour nap and full of Red Bull. He asked all of the seniors to come up and line up in alphabetical order. Not that I was counting, but there were 31 seniors total and Taylor was bound and determined to say a special something to all of them one by one. I think it can be said that he shot from the hip, as some of there tributes sounded more like a Michael Scott tribute to the ever hated Toby. It was to Katie that he said "Katie, if you can ever control your mouth and not let your emotions get the best of you, you will be able to accomplish great things." And so Katie went off stage and hung herself. To Sandra, he told the audience "Sandra is going into the Navy, which is a good thing because she needs discipline and if she can take that military discipline and apply it to herself, it is then she will be successful." And so Sandra went off and slit her wrists!

What could this man have possibly been thinking?!? I know there was no alcohol served (man I could have used some), but this guy became a verbal sniper with endless ammunition. Needless to say, the night continued.

Hour 4 - Here Is Your Gift . . . . Oh Someone Shoot Me and End The Misery

Hour four began with an e-mail from my pastor with the subject line of "Bummer". The body read something like this "Julie and I have done several of these banquets, I know these are painful, you deserve extra jewels in your crown. Have fun! Andy & Julie." I think those jewels he referred to were instantly lost as the slew of profanity that was running through my head both at the Richardson Eagle Band and Andy. Once I collected myself, I replied with the following: "Go to my house and grab my rifle. The ammo is in my top dresser drawer. Come to the Marriott Renaissance. I am at Table 8. Sight me in and shoot me at the base of the skull. Please hurry, for the love of God and all that is Holy, hurry!" I was in no way joking and I wanted this even more desperately for myself as I saw the juniors gather on one side of the stage and begin their own tributes and gift presentations to the seniors . . . . all 31 of them. I would have given anything at that moment for a stirring rendition of Friends by Michael W. Smith just to make it stop or a heart attack for Mr. Taylore, but alas the tributes, the gifts, the incessant giggling and BFF's continued on and on. By the time the last senior was awarded her gift and spoken of fondly, I was begging to have a root canal in exchange for having to endure anything further.

Hour 5 - Oops We Forgot Your Picture Dear, Now Turn Off the Screen Saver Dumbass!

As the juniors and seniors took their seats and the clock struck 11 I began to think the light at the end of the tunnel was a freight train. I was oh so close; the light at the end of the tunnel was 3 video presentations! The first was the Senior Video, this was then followed by the Year in Review. It seemed odd to me that an entire year could be reviewed on a video in 15 minutes, but one banquet took 6 hours! As we watched video number one the computer screen saver kicked in thus showing the Microsoft logo instead of the video. It was then that Marvin the Senior Band member nervously ran on stage to type in his password and reset the video; mind you he never once thought to turn-off the screen saver; so this event replayed itself 3 more times! The last video was the good ole' show the baby picture followed by the senior picture. This would have been sweet except that there were 5 seniors whose parents did not get the memo and therefore those seniors had no baby picture, we just got to see them in present day . . . as if we had not seen enough of them that night. Nothing says "we love you and are proud of you honey" like not sending in the baby picture.

Hour 6 - Denmark, Turning Points and Early Morning Slip-Ups

It was towards the end of the video that I began the question the very existence of a God. Surely, if there was He would not allow this kind of pain. My suspicions were confirmed when I received a text message from Tori, our senior, that said "I do not even think Jesus would sit through this." I knew I was onto something.

The last hour was the final senior speeches. When this was announced I soiled myself thinking that all 31 were going to speak. Luckily for us, they only chose 5. There were two in particular that I remember. The first was by one of the Drum Major's who I could have sworn was the love child of Napoleon Dynamite and Skippy Handleman from Family Ties. This kid was wired and was surely in some kind of substance abuse program. All we got from him was something about turning points, being 6 year's old, living in Denmark and a house fire. If you are confused then you know how we all felt upon listening to him. I felt much dumber after sitting in his company and hearing him drone on about his years in band.

Now, the second speech was a winner! As this girl attempted to convince the underclassman that all of their hard work and early morning practices would be worth it she began to describe her mornings by saying "I remember lying in bed, the alarm going off and rolling over and looking at the cock." CHECK PLEASE!!!! WE HAVE A WINNER!! By the time she realized her error and tried to say clock it was too late, the ship was on fire, taking on water and sinking fast.

At the end of the speeches, videos, atta boys, and longing for alcohol, we were headed for the door. I can honestly say I have never been through an experience like that in my life or a service that drained me so and I grew up in a conservative, evangelical Baptist church. We have petitioned the school system to see if our 2008 tax payments can be funneled for counseling as we will be in there for quite awhile in an attempt at recovery. Wish us well!

The Last Stop Before Doggy Heaven

2008-05-19T14:41:00.003-05:00

There is no doubt that losing a pet can be a traumatic experience. Well for those of you that need closure, the pet only funeral home that just opened this week will be that way to say goodbye and help you go through the 7 stages of grief.

The Pet Angel Memorial Center offers the following to help humans mourn the loss of their pets:

Human Touches: Hmmm, would you not have to touch your dead pet to simply get them into the car to drive them to the funeral home? I am not sure what another touch after the embalming would accomplish except you having to try and rid yourself of the formaldehyde
Viewing Areas: I am not sure what would be worse, having a pet that died or having one of my friends let me know what time the viewing would be for Buttons the gerbil. What does one do at a pet viewing? Do you walk by the casket like in human viewings and then sit down and awkwardly fidget as you wonder "how much longer do I have to sit here before my respects for the dead are noticed?"
Little Caskets For Your Pet: What a boon for the midget casket makers industry now they can expand into a whole new market

When asked about her new venture the owner of PAM-C stated that she started this business "because I do not have any two-legged children, all I have is four-legged children and I wanted her treated in the same way as the human funeral business." There are so many disturbing things with this that they are almost too numerous to list, but let's take a try at a few:

No two legs, just four? These are called circus freaks
Pet's as children? Can we all be thankful she has no children! I start the over-under that within 3 years she will be eaten in her sleep by her 150 cats
Human Funeral Business vs. Pet Funeral Business: Whatever happened to the hole in the backyard for FiFi? With people paying for this, I guess the economy is in much better shape then we thought.

According to the news story this is just part of a growing trend in the "pet loss services" category. I guess this is the politically correct way to say dead pet . . . . "John, I am so sorry for your pet loss." The story went onto say that according to a new poll more Americans believe pets go to heaven. Is that all pets? What about Pit-bulls that attack little children or horses that kick people? Surely if there is a heaven there must be a hell . . . . oh wait, I think we just read about hell.

Could They Suck Any Worse?`

2008-05-15T22:54:00.002-05:00

So this season I decided to take a new approach to baseball. After all new manager, new head at the ownership, so I thought that maybe I would try to be less harsh, more understanding and a little more relaxed. The new approach sucks as bad as the Yankees do.

I know, I know you are saying they do this every year, its still early but this year is different, there is no hitting, the fielding is sloppy, they sure as hell can't throw anyone out attempting a steal and the report of Phil Hughes breaking a rib was actually good news, because it meant I did not have to watch him pitch batting practice every 5th day.

Today I got to watch as Ian Kennedy took his turn to suck. I am glad he does so well in AAA, keep him there! I would also like to know why Giradi thinks it is beneficial to play Shelly Duncan and Giambi and rest Matsui (who is raking) and Abreu. The only thing I can think of is he is desperately trying to protect the post-game buffet from Giambi's fat ass and under .200 average.

By and large they suck and have all year. With more than 25% of the season in the rears, the Yanks have been playing with their heads up their rears. I guess the only solace I have is that they are not the Tigers.

The Darndest Things

2008-05-09T07:34:00.002-05:00

In the last week I have had two fascinating conversations with two of my children. The first was between my wife (Susanne) and daughter (Lauren, who is 8), the second between my youngest son (Luke, who is 6) and myself. Here is how they went word for word:

Lauren: I got to see Alvin & The Chipmunks at Madeleine's house last night!

Susanne: Did you like it?

Lauren: Yes, it was soooooo funny!

Me: What did you think was funny about it?

Lauren: The three chipmunks are just so cute. Alvin is the leader, Theodore is the smart one and Simon is the cute dumb one. They are so funny.

Susanne: So which one of the chipmunks are you most like?

Lauren: Well, I think I am a mix of all three.

Me: Really, how so?

Lauren: Well, I am awesome, smart and pretty!

That about ended the conversation as it was hard to ask any other questions through the laughter. We are at least glad to know that there is not so much as a dent in the self-esteem armor of our daughter and that will pay big dividends when she hits the dating scene in about 30 years (if I have my way).

Here is my second conversation with Luke. As for a little background, since he was a baby I have called him my baba ganoush (I am not sure why I refer to him as something similar to humus, but it just seems to fit). Now that you have the information the conversation went like this:

Me: Hey baba ganoush, are you my buddy?

Luke: Yes, of course (to get the full affect you must read all of his words as if you have issues pronouncing your "r")

Me: Will you always be my buddy?

Luke: I am not sure.

Me: What?!? What do you mean you are not sure?

Luke: Like I said, I am not sure

Me: What about when you are 25, will you be my buddy then?

Luke: I don't know!

Me: Why? You don't think you will like me when you are 25?!

Luke: Dad, I said I don't know, can I have some lunch?

I am not sure if this is a premonition in the form of a warning from the mouth of a babe or what, but ever since I have been walking on eggshells around this little ingrate. I guess only time will tell.

The Late Great Unpleasantness

2008-04-23T12:57:00.019-05:00

*Note: The events as described below all happened and are true. However due to lack of sleep and Starbucks the chronological events as they occurred may be out of order. The author apologizes for any potential errors. The author has also used as several new terms that were learned on the trip when referring to the Civil War.

As I did last year I decided to accompany my two son's on their annual school trip. This year the destination was Vicksburg, Mississippi affectionately known to locals as "The Gibraltar of the South" or something like that; to be honest I was not listening all that closely.

There were however several distinct differences on this trip than last years namely:

- We had both 5th and 6th grades

- I as a northerner a.k.a. the ones who won the war, was going to get to see the Civil War through Rebel eyes

- We had cordless microphones on the bus which provided a more interactive experience for interviewing children and parents alike

Day 1: And They're Off!

We climbed aboard the buses and were greeted by our drivers Gus (5th grade bus) & Ernie

(6th grade bus) and we immediately received the ground rules: 1. be seated at all times, 2. nobody past the white line while driving and if you do not need to, do not use the rest room as "ventilation on the bus isn't all that great" (Gus's words not mine).

With that we were off to the great state of Mississippi and a long nap for many of those who stayed up well into the wee hours making sure they had everything packed for our 4-day/3night excursion.

After a short stop in Louisiana for lunch and a guided bus tour while passing through Shreveport by yours truly, we arrived at our museum stop. It was here we watched a film narrated by what sounded like the Andy Griffith character Matlock and with all the graphic prowess of the earliest Atari games. We also viewed a diorama of the city of Vicksburg. While viewing the diorama we were given a history of the battle of Vicksburg by an elderly gentleman with a peculiar whistle every time he used a word with the letter "S" in it. Think saying Vicksburg with a chipped tooth and you get the idea. The biggest attraction of this little museum was the gift shop. I have no proof but my gut tells me that our little christian school set a record for the number of Rebel clad flasks sold in a 30-minute span. These flasks came in quite handy during the week as lemonade dispensers and if the adults had use of them could have made the ride home a tad more bearable.

After our time at the museum, we made our way to the camp where we were staying tucked

away in the woods of Mississippi. We would be using this as our home base and as unloaded the luggage and sleeping bags we did our best to recreate the Exodus on the way to our cabins.

Once arriving upon the cabins one could not help but think we had been inadvertently cast in Shawshank Redemption 2. Why I did not think the bathrooms could get any worse, I was reminded of my foolish thoughts after 3 nights with 14 boys. . . . . I will spare you any grim details.

The night closed with a spaghetti and meatball dinner and part 1 of God's & Generals where the most amazing beards known to man were put on display. As we went back to our dorms that night I fell asleep to the lone cry of one boy praying that he would indeed not be eaten by anything that may be crawling around the cabin that night . . . . . in the morning we saw his prayer had been answered.

Day 2: Battlefields, Golf & Ropes

The schedule for Day 2 called for a bus tour of the historic battle field of Vicksburg where General Grant was repelled for 47 days by Confederate forces. The tour was a 2-hour bus tour with stops along the way and a guide. Overall the tour was quite interesting with many facets of the war laid out but as it always does when one tells these stories, the North won again. Around 10:30 bid our goodbyes to the national park and the dad's who went to play golf; which begs the question, do we not have golf in Dallas?

Later that day we went back to the camp to participate in some low & high ropes. While these

events are usually designed for team building and trust among peers, I firmly believe that while that did indeed occur, the real test was the level of patience of those guiding the course. Do you even know how hard it is to get 15 foot planked platform to balance with 19 kids on it? I do as I witnessed it first hand for 35 minutes!

After some zip lining and dinner we again retired to God's & Generals to learn more about Stonewall Jackson and the "War of Northern Aggression" and then off to our cells for some much needed rest

Day 3: Homes, Homes & More Homes

We loaded the buses and off we went to Natchez, the site of many historical homes on the banks of the mighty Mississippi. We first had to go and pick up our guides who would be our voice as we drove through the city and give us a flavor of what life was like in Natchez during the war or as our guide liked the call "The Late Great Unpleasantness". When, if you think about it, if this is the latest, greatest unpleasantness that they have had for 145 years, they really have had it pretty easy don't you think?

We arrived at the Natchez welcome center and while waiting for our guides allowed a quick

restroom break for both children and pets alike. I am not sure I have ever seen a designated pet restroom nor will again but am glad it was there as we had a lot of kids and when standing in line, bad bus ventilation and not being able to hold it well . . . . .

We started the tour of homes and there some quite unique homes that dated back to the 1850's. There was Longwood, Rosalie and Melrose (Mountjoy mistakenly thought this is where Melrose Place was filmed). Each one had their own unique appeal and as usual there were always some interesting things for us to find in the gift shop. I was so relieved to know that I was going to be able to get all of my Christmas shopping done while spending this quality time with my kids. My wife will be so pleased!

It was upon the tours of these homes that we happened upon two of the creepiest things that I have ever encountered in all my 36 years.

Exhibit 1: One of the homes housed an inordinate amount of mannequins to perhaps give a more real life feel to what it would have been like to have people dressed in 1850's garb milling about the house. All in all I am OK with that, but one mannequin stood out among the rest and upon rounding the corner and seeing it not only frightened me to the point of almost using bad words, but has been forever seared upon my memory and will torment me in many a nightmare to come. I never knew that Chuckie got his start as a Confederate Soldier, but after seeing this I have no doubt. I can tell you this, had this little mutant doll flinched even an inch I would have run and screamed like a little girl with no remorse or apology. What you see here in this picture can not do justice to the true horror or creep factor of this doll.

Exhibit 2: As we toured the Melrose house we were greeted by a female tour guide who gave us a history of the house and then led us into the home and on into one of the living rooms where a portrait of a four-year old girl hung. What was peculiar about this girl was that she had her eyes closed and was propped up. When asked why the peculiar pose? Our tour guide informed us that this portrait was actually painted after the girl had died! Yes, that's right, the girl died and then they decided a portrait would be a good idea (I guess they would not have to worry about her moving to much). But seriously, could you get any more demented? A portrait like this is kind of like a train wreck in that it is utterly disturbing but one must stop and take a look. I only have one word - EWWWWWWWWW!

After being emotionally scarred for life we went back to camp for dinner and free time. After finishing God's & Generals, we went to a campfire for some singing, sharing & smores. After that we retired to our cabins where I lay awake afraid to sleep in fear that Chuckie may be on the side of sleep waiting for me . . . just waiting!

Day 4: We Are Ready To Leave . . . Errrrr Wait A Minute

Thursday morning started off well and we were successful in getting all of the kids packed, fed and ready to go by 7:45 am for the ride back home to Dallas. There was only one issue and that was the bus was not starting which kind of put a kink in our plans. I am not sure what it is about men, but once the engine hatch on the bus was lifted it was like moths to flame. None of us really had any clue what we were looking at, but perhaps we believed that if we pointed and grunted a little that the bus would notice and decide to start. As we knew this was not an issue that was going to be resolved quickly, we opted for a World Cup of sorts and developed an ongoing round robin soccer tournament run by the English gentlemen himself Steve Marshall.

As the kids kicked the ball around Gus our driver, not to be deterred sprang into action and pulled a Macgyver and simply asked for duct tape, a paperclip and coat hanger. Once this mechanical wizard was done the bus was running and we had only been delayed for 3 hours or so and returned to Dallas safely.

All in all it was a great trip and a lot of fun and I am glad that I went along. I tried to share my unique perspective of the war with the kids (did you know the Union had 16 regiments of midgets? It is a little known fact). I can only hope they appreciate the trip as much as I did and look forward to next year when we go somewhere far away from Chuckie!

You Know What I Am Talking About

2008-04-08T21:45:00.004-05:00

Today was a great day! Today was the day that I kept my children home from school, took them to the grocery store where they selected their "junk food" item, grabbed some Dr. Pepper and headed to the BallPark for Opening Day. We had a great time even though my son's team, The Rangers lost.

What also made my day was seeing all of the different people that chose to also attend this game. So if you have been to a ball game or any other sporting event, raise your hand if you can identify with some of these people, all of whom we saw today.

- Mr. Stand Up In The Middle of the Inning & Talk on Your Cell Phone and Wave Guy: This is the guy who is trying to talk to his friend who is in the lower deck and get his friend to look up to the upper deck where he is sitting. This guy is the reason people bring peanuts to the ball game, becuase they are easy to throw and when hitting one in the head, sends a message to sit your ass down because you are blocking the view. Throwing peanuts, while yelling "hey idiot, sit down we can't see" is also acceptable

- Mrs. I Forgot My Sunscreen & Bra Lady: For reasons known only to God himself, these women usually average about 57 years old and love to wear tank tops and think they still have "it". Here is a tip, when your neck looks like scorched tissue paper and your belly button is between your boobs, you do not have "it" and you need some SPF 45

- Mr. Do You Know Who I Met Once Guy: This is the guy who has never actually met any of the players or coaches, but has met all of the people related to or friends of the players and coaches. A discussion would probably start like this, "that Michael Young can play, I once met his cousins brother-in-law."

- Mrs. Too Big For Those Shorts Lady: Can you say cottage cheese? Many times these ladies are also the same as the "Forgot My Sunscreen and Bra Lady". These women were a size 2 when they were 6 and have forgotten that was a very, very long time ago. To accentuate the fact that their ass looks like two pigs in a sack fighting they from time to time like to decorate with letters across it which has a result of one throwing up in their mouth

- Mr. I Wear Eye Black Guy: This is the guy who has not ever really let go of his high school days. He is hoping beyond all hope that maybe he will get a chance to play in the game even though there is a better chance of President Bush issuing a written apology to the Huessein family. Someone please tell this idiot that eye black is for the players and that if the glare is that unbearable get a pair of freaking sunglasses!

- Mrs. Sleeveless Golf Shirt Lady: At first glance this lady would pass for Nacy Lopez's ugly kid sister. The rule here is this: If your arms have cheeks then please for the love of all that is good, holy and pure wear sleeves!

- Mr. I Am The Fantasy League King a.k.a Brian Cashman Guy: This is the guy who feels the need to comment on every play, player, coach and umpire. This guy is the love child of George Costanza and Rainman in that he lives at home in his 40's and has an amazing competency for statistics. On a side note: This guy sat directly behind us today.

- Mr. I Have Man Boobs, Am Single & Think I Am Funny Guy: This is the guy who feels it is his duty to start the wave. He is the guy who yells as he comes up the aisle to find his seat and buys two beers at a time and makes a display when he tells the vendor "No, no, no, that $.50 is for you my friend." Yes, this is the guy that we all dread but is inescapable as they are everywhere.

Mr. Jorts (Jean Shorts): Enough Said

Mr. I Cheer For The Hard Hit Foul Ball Guy: This is the guy who has zero depth perception and cheers anytime there is contact with the ball. A foul ball to home plate elicits a cave man yell that will wake the dead. This guy makes sure he enjoys all of the game!

And last but certainly not least . . . .

Mr. Keep My Bluetooth At The Ready Guy: This is the guy who refuses to take off his BlueTooth headset so that everyone can see how important he is in that he may get a call at any second that he must take. Never mind the fact that the Bionic Woman could not hear a phone conversation over the roar of the crowd, this man loves his headset and not even a relaxing day at the ball park will get him to part with it

I Am Cursed

2008-04-01T15:41:00.003-05:00

If you are ever in a grocery store and get in line behind me I strongly encourage you to go to another line. I tell you this for your own good and to spare you the long wait that will ensue if you decide to stay in line behind me. I tell you this for one reason and one reason only and that is because when it comes to grocery store lines I am cursed. I know that some of you may not believe in curses or any such kind of thing, but if you don't then I ask you to explain the following:

- In Sam's Club waiting third in line when the woman who is paying drops some change she was going to pay with and spends 5 minutes trying to get the quarter stuck under the conveyor belt

- In Wal-Mart using the self-check out and am told for reasons known only to the computer to wait for an associate. Only issue is that the associate is no where to be seen and comes to my assistance after 3 or so minutes, swipes a card and leaves me . . . alone . . . . only to have the same thing happen again

- In the same Wal-Mart and second in line when the lady in front of me along with her daughter has her credit card rejected. Thinking it was some mistake she tries again . . . agin rejected. So she whips out her checkbook which starts a fight between mother and daughter and they leave the cart and all its bagged groceries there in front of me. The cashier now takes another 2 minutes to clear her register, void the purchases and then we are finally underway

- Figuring a change in stores may do me some good I go to Kroger, the tape in the cash register runs out. Not to be stopped, I simply switch lines to another register only to find the person in front of me will be paying by check, but inexplicably neither the cashier nor the lady has a pen

- Sam's Club again and this time the the man in the electric cart cannot seem to get it to work properly so several people are working on his cart and nothing is being checked, no where to go on this one as the lines are long and I am stuck watching this pour soul move backward and forward for the next several minutes until finally an angel from on high decides that is enough and miraculously the chair is fixed

I want to make several things abundantly clear. All of these accounts are true and nothing has been added to them to make them more sensational. These accounts are as accurate as if I were reliving them myself and are only a sample of the grocery store check-out line hell that I endure every time I darken the doors of a food mart.

I am cursed, this is my cross to bear and I trust that you do not have to ever endure these same horrors.

It Was A Sniper, Errr Wait!

2008-03-24T21:28:00.006-05:00

Making the Most of a Haircut

2008-03-19T22:52:00.003-05:00

My son Jeremy has quite incredible hair. When grown out the thickness would seem more carpet than hair. The best way to describe it would be that of a duck, as when the water hits it simply rolls off rather than penetrates. It is because of these facts that he prefers a buzz cut. It is easier to wash and no need for a comb (a perfectly good reason for any 11 year old).

Recently he did get the buzz after the slab o' hair had grown quite long and thick. It was during this cut he decided to experiment with a new look and then show us what puberty may look like for him.

Take Some Time

2008-03-13T09:04:00.002-05:00

I received an e-mail today from a friend of mine who is a Colonel in the Army. This is what his e-mail read:

Just received notification that my unit in Iraq, the 7th Sustainment Brigade, suffered 3 KIA (Killed in Action) and 2 WIA (Wounded in Action) early this morning. Two of the three KIA are married with children and stationed at Ft Eustis. One family has two kids, the other three. Please pray for all these families and children as they process this news.

I read this as I sat in front of my computer with my second cup of coffee fresh from a great breakfast that I was able to share with my oldest son before I took him to school. E-mails like this kind of make one take stock of how blessed they are and how little I can be when looking over the things I have the gaul to complain about this week.

The families of these men have suffered unspeakable loss, their sons will never get the breakfast in the morning before school. It is easy for us to go on day-by-day forgetting what our men and women are doing for us, but let's remember to take some time and pray for those who are fighting for freedom. I am not concerned on your views on the war (We all have our own take on it), but the least we can do is stop for a moment and give thanks for our troops, give thanks for their families who understand what the word sacrifice really means and pray for their safety and protection.

Where Is The Camera?

2008-03-04T21:33:00.017-06:00

For all 7 of you who read this, you know that my 6 year old Luke keep us on our toes and supplies lots of laughs. He did not let us down! We were recently downloading photos from our digital camera and it was quite evident that Luke was trying his hand at the art of photography.

Here is a sample of what we found:

Ya think this was an attempt at a self-portrait?

Who Left the Seat Up?!?

He found the NFL Network!

Who Doesn't Love Spidey?

WNBA Fever . . . . . Catch It!

2008-02-27T07:43:00.004-06:00

Jimmy Hoffas Resting Place

2008-02-20T08:25:00.010-06:00

So on Monday it was not only a national holiday but my son Jeremy's 11th birthday. It was perfect, I could take the day off, he got the day off of school and we would have nothing to do all day but celebrate!

The one and only thing he wanted for his birthday was a portable basketball hoop. In the weeks leading up to the big day he dropped not so subtle hints and kept talking about how much he was hoping for that hoop. Well, who wants to disappoint an 11 year old? So, we got the boy a hoop, now all that was left to be done was take out the old non-portable hoop and throw together the new one and we could begin our lay-up drills. Of course it would be perfectly reasonable for anyone to ask the question, if there was already a hoop in the driveway why would we go an get another one? Well, for starters the rocket scientist who erected this hoop thought it would be OK to only use a 9 ft. pole. This would be great except for the fact that a basketball goal should stand at 10 ft, so with said pole only at 9 ft. the hoop stood at approximately 7ft 9 inches (I for one had no problem with that as my dunks made Darryl Dawkins look like a girl. Move over Chocolate Thunder!) So the day began with the removing of the hoop and this is when things went terribly awry.

I have been a party to putting up basketball goals with cement and typically you dig the hole about 2 feet deep by about 12-18 inches wide and fill the hole with cement, let it dry so the bottom pole is sturdy and then several days later after the pole is secure, complete the assembly. Well, our rocket scientist friend who occupied my home before I purchased it from him, decided to not only put his hoop in the ground, but wanted to make sure it would last

through a nuclear holocaust.

As I started the dig, I noticed the diameter of the cement around the pole was quite larger than what one would think is needed. Then I began to dig, and dig, and dig, and dig and you get the picture. I dug so much and so deep I would not have been surprised to unearth the remains of Jimmy Hoffa and/or some dinosaur bones.

I got half-way down and knew I was in for a long day of manual labor on my "day-off" and sons b-day celebration, the kids needed to go inside as we were short on ear muffs and they did not need to learn any new words from a frustrated daddy.

After some deep breathes and cleansing, I then tried pulling the pole out with my Suburban and still no luck. (I think I actually bent a piece of welded metal underneath my vehicle, I hope it is still under warranty). I finally decided to "screw-it" and had come to terms with leaving the last vestiges of the pole and bunker in the ground and just positioning the new hoop in a better location. I did not care that my backyard would be a rednecks photo op, I was going to learn to live with a tornado shelter and black pole 3 feet high firmly planted next to my driveway. I was even reluctant to fill the hole I had dug around the massive object all the way in as I did not want my hours worth of work to be wiped away so quickly and who knows we may want to roast a pig someday.

This coming to terms lasted about 3 hours when upon our return home from an outing to the Y (requested by my new 11 year old bday boy) I saw an opportunity present itself again involving my Suburban. Instead of puling the cement out of the ground, surely I could push it out. As we lined-up the front bumper with the pole, my last instructions to my boys were clear and succinct, "you do not tell your mother about this." This should have been a sign to me that I was about to cause some damage to the front of my wife's vehicle. Undaunted we inched closer to contact and with a slight press to the gas felt a move and was able to get the mighty beast to lurch forward thus moving the once thought unmovable object. There were high fives all around and then we got out, checked the bumper, breathed a sigh of relief and knew we could let mom in on our little secret.

We have now after a week moved the object and successfully filled the hole after exchanging hello's with our friends in China and having the crew from the show In Search Of, examine the cavern for any remains.

I have since told my son that if he does not play on his new hoop every day for the next 10 years he will be grounded, its the least he could do.

Why I Love Valentines Day

2008-02-15T09:49:00.012-06:00

My wife Susanne and I are not big on Valentines Day. Seriously, it is not just me saying it, you can ask her and she will tell you the same thing, we just have never really been into it. However, the other woman in my life, my 8 year old daughter, is really into it and thus so am I. About 3 years ago we started a tradition on Valentines Day my boys take Susanne out for dinner and Lauren and I go on a date. It is the one reason that I love Valentines Day!

The date usually consists of me bringing home flowers and then to Chili's for a nice dinner, to the mall for some ice skating and closing with Starbucks on the third floor of the mall and an intense game of I Spy!

This year, we mixed it up a bit and instead of the same ol' same ol' we did things a little differently. For one, I brought flowers at lunch time during school, which were a big hit (did you know you can get 3 roses, with baby's breath and a glass vase at Wal-Mart for $9.37? All due respect to the "little guy" , but you can't beat those prices). Not to be outdone by the change in the norm, Lauren also decided to change things up when as we were heading out the door she announced that in lieu of Chili's we would be dining at Chipotle (you have to love a low maintenance woman! She gets it from her mother, thank you Lord!).

After our fine dining we headed to the mall only to realize that we were about 45 minutes early, but undaunted we spent our time looking for a Claire's Botique and before we could happen upon Claire, we were quickly distracted by a Limited Too. It was there we spent our time looking at every outfit, dress, accessory, bathing suite, Webkinz, headband, pair of shoes, belt, skirt, shirt, sweater in the store. In addition, we were able to squeeze in some modeling of our own.

We finally hit the ice at 7:00 and spent the next 45 minutes, racing, holding hands and skating and seeing who could jump highest on their skates while not falling down. After being beaten in two races (and dodging the ice security who did not notice we were racing) we decided that our legs were so sore we should probably call it quits and head for our coffee/Freppucino fix. While there, our I spy game grew intense and upon ending I was informed that I lost. When I protested that I was not sure just how that was determined, I was simply met with a look, a sly smile and words that no man wants to ever hear from any woman . . . "I know I am right, you lost!"

It was with that I knew it was time to call it a night. We grabbed our skates and headed for the car. I was fortunate enough that the walk through the mall was about 5 minutes to get to our exit and there is something so incredibly enjoyable about a walk and conversation with your daughter. Even though I lost I was told I was the best daddy in the world and that this is one of her favorite nights of the year! If losing gets me that I will lose everytime!

Well, only 364 more days until Valentines Day and another "night of the year" date (not that we will wait that long for another "lesser" one) . I am not sure how much longer I will have Valentines dedicated to us, because when I asked her if on Valentines Day when she is older if she will go on a date with me or with her yucky boyfriend? All I got was a roll of the eyes and a "whatever!" Looks like I may lose again in the future. But one thing you can count on, is I will keep on asking her to skate on Valentines Day and bring her flowers!

How To Get Rich!

2008-02-10T21:44:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I was driving my three boys back from my oldest guitar lessons and participating in one of my favorite pastimes which is listening to my children's conversation. Here is a blow by blow account of the conversation:

Jonathan (age 12): "Jeremy (age 10), when you are playing major league baseball (Jeremy's dream) you will not need any more money so can I have all of your baseball cards?"

Jeremy: "Why would I do that, it does not mean I will not like them anymore and beside with all the rookie cards I have I can still make more money when I sell them. " (I love the entrepreneurial spirit and thought process but am hoping that some of that extra dough will be spent to take care of his aging parents)

Jonathan: "Well if I am homeless I will need the money to buy a house and get my life back together." (Now I am a little concerned about his goals in life and his confidence that he can actually achieve them.)

Luke (age 6): "I would love to be homeless!" (OK, now the concern grows into morbid curiosity as to where he could be going with this? After all this is Luke)

Jonathan: "Lukie, why would you want to be homeless?

Luke: "I would be homeless and put a box in front of me so people would come by and put money inside it and then I would get rich and be able to buy a hot tub!" (Ahhhhhh! I see, hit rock bottom and then fulfill the American dream by working or begging your way to the top or in this case the jacuzzi)

Me: "So Luke, would you then live in the hot tub?"

Luke: "Uhhh, YEAH!"

Jeremy: "Luke, that makes no sense!"

Luke: "I don't care!"

I am looking forward to the next drive with the three. Maybe we will get to talk politics!

My Little Buddy

2008-01-31T22:25:00.000-06:00

My youngest son Luke started kindergarten this year and at his school the classes are either all day on Tuesday and Thursday or three times per week on Monday, Wednesday & Friday with Monday & Friday being half-days. As a result, I have the good fortune of spending Tuesday's & Thursday's working from home and spending time with Luke.

Today after a little work for me in the morning and Luke doing some of his own work a.k.a homework we headed off the to Sam's and the grocery store. As we strode through the store and drove in the car we had some fascinating conversation. Here are a few snippets for you:

Luke: Dad, I am not sure why, but I really love spaghetti! I wish that we could have it tonight!

Luke: Dad, you know what?
Me: What buddy?
Luke: "Hidalgo (he is one of Luke's imaginary friends) has been allergic to cupcakes since he was one year old. I think though that he is about to break out of it"

Luke: Daddy, sometime during class Mrs. Barth (his teacher) will take off her glasses and rub them against her sweater. When she takes off her glasses she looks really different. I bet though she does not look different to her family because they see her a lot with her glasses off, but to us she looks real different.

Luke: Daddy, your singing is terrible (it is hard to argue with him on that one)

Luke: Dad, can I have a donut at the store?
Me: No Luke
Luke: Well then can I have a cinnamon roll?
Me: No, that is just like a donut
Luke: Oh man, well then, can I have a slushy?
Me: Let's keep shopping Luke

Next year Luke goes to first grade, I will miss my Tuesday's & Thursday's. Maybe I can hang out with his imaginary friends.

That's Offensive

2008-01-24T07:43:00.000-06:00

Remember the story of the Three Little Pigs? Houses of straw, wood, and brick? The three little pigs all piling in the house of brick for fear of their safety? Remember that one we would read as kids and possibly have read to our children? Well, according to the to the Government of the United Kingdom that story is offensive!

Becta, the UK Government’s technology agency for schools, recently handed out their Bett Awards to publishers for children's books and rejected the book The Three Little Cowboy Builders (based on the story of the three little pigs), in that it is offensive.

Feedback from the judges included guidance that the "story may alienate parts of the workforce" The question they have posed is: “Is it true that all builders are cowboys, builders get their work blown down, and builders are like pigs? The use of pigs in the story also raised the judges concern on how the Asian (have they never heard of sweet & sour pork?) community would react and they also felt the story would be offensive to Muslim's.

I for one am offended that the judges fell so short in covering all the various groups that could have been offended by this story. It is quite obvious that these judges did not take the time to think through all of the possible ramifications of this potentially damaging story and just quickly jumped to a decision and moved on with no care of concern for properly protecting a wide array of groups. In lieu of the judges not completely fulfilling their duties, I felt it necessary to bring into the light some of what they overlooked in the hope that perhaps next year they will think through all of the possible scenarios before they rush off to their tea and crumpets.

What about the Jews? Is this story not potentially offensive to them? Have they not read the book of Leviticus?
What about vegetarians and vegans everywhere? Did the judges so carelessly dismiss this people group without even a thought? Makes me want to throw-up my tofu!
I understand the slight on builders, but what about Cowboys? Do the English even understand the whole concept of a Cowboy (if you have ever seen Prince Charles I am sure you know the answer to that)? Are all cowboys builders? Are all cowboys pigs? I ask you . . . . are they? Of course not!!!
What about pigs? Are pigs everywhere incapable of knowing that surely a house of straw will not withstand the weather patterns that are frequent to the UK? Or that a house of twigs and sticks would be a haven for birds everywhere and cause a putrid, stench of a mess in a mere matter of days? Pigs are known as one of the smartest animals in the world and this story is just a smack in the face to pigs everywhere!
What about wolves? I for one am sick and tired of wolves being portrayed as bullies who only want to wreck lives and eat defenseless creatures! With this in mind I am calling for a ban on Peter and the Wolf and Little Red Riding Hood! Who will stand with me?

In addition to the ban on the stories above, I am taking a stand against all offensive children's stories, songs and poems and ask that each of you put yourself in the shoes of the offended people or animal group and make a choice for America (and in this case the UK).

Little Miss Muffit: Why do we assume that spiders are scary? Are all women afraid of spiders? This is sexist and anti-spider! BANNED!
Chicken Little: This just screams, "hey I am a chicken, I am stupid!" Enough of this anti-chicken racist behavior! BANNED!
Puff The Magic Dragon: Are all boys made of paper? We know what this song is really about anyway and why must we ascribe magic to all dragons everywhere? That is setting a pretty high bar and those dragons who cannot reach these lofty heights will surely have a bruised and fragile self-esteem. BANNED!
Christopher Church Mouse: While some of the messages are good, can we automatically assume that all mice are spiritual and have thoughts of God? BANNED!
Curious George: Monkeys are not bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BANNED!
Winnie the Pooh: Imagine that, another tale by the English! I guess Becta missed this one. Donkeys are not lazy, owls are not the only wise animals, tigers are not reckless thrill seeking beings and not all bears have a lack of concern for their physical fitness. BANNED!

I am sure the list will grow once I have time to calm down and ponder and will soon be taking on Disney!

He Does Not Seem Into This Service

2008-01-21T21:03:00.000-06:00

A Picture is Worth One Thousand Words

2008-01-18T14:26:00.000-06:00

Here are some award winning photo's from our friends at Olan Mills.

This was his audition photo for NBC Datelines next episode of
"To Catch a Predator"

Kenneth and a picture with his prom date

Yes, he drives a 1988 Camaro and has a number 3 decal on the back

Photos like this will get you kicked out of the Southern Baptist Convention

The Earp's took some time on their trek on the Oregon trail to commemorate their journey and their broken wagon wheel.

The next time you hear an Amber Alert . . . look for this guy!

The Presidency and The NFL

2008-01-08T17:29:00.001-06:00

Regardless of who you are pulling for in this year of elections, the word experience will be the second most used word in all of the campaigns running second only to the word "change". So getting into the NH primary spirit I thought I would post this e-mail that I received today from a friend.

In a news conference Deanna Favre announced she will be lobbying to be the starting QB for the Packers this coming Sunday in the Packers playoff game. Deanna asserts that she is qualified to be starting QB because she has spent the past 16 years married to Brett while he has played QB for the Packers. During this period of time she has become familiar with the definition of a corner blitz, and is now completely comfortable with other terminology of the Packers offense. A survey of Packers fans shows that 50% of those polled supported the move.

Mmmmmmmmmmm, Sound like any of the candidates out there?

My New Year Wishes

2007-12-31T10:31:00.000-06:00

As the New Year approaches and we say goodbye to 2007, I look forward with great anticipation to 2008. As we merrily head into this New Year, I thought I would share my New Year's wishes with the 6 of you who read this. They are listed below in no particular order (resolutions are overdone and never kept so why try and keep in mind good health and prosperity are givens so they will not be listed).

In 2008, I Wish That. . .

- Britney's comeback comes full circle
- Daisuke Matsuzaka gets deported
- My god parents who used to send me $50 on my birthday finally find me and leave me what is left of their fortune (this smacks of prosperity but I have wished this every year so could not leave it out)
- Sports Illustrated finds a suitable replacement for Rick Reilly
- The entire Red Sox Nation including Theo Epstein comes down with a nasty case of the mumps at the end of September
- Joe Torre's Dodgers win the NL West and he gets the nod as NL Manager of the Year
- Hank Steinbrenner loses his voice
- The November elections end in a tie and we end up getting co-Presidents!
- Somewhere there are some Dr. Seuss books that have never been released that are found and published, "Would You Could You In A Box?"
- Susanne and I finally get that long awaited call from the producers of The Amazing Race.
- Survivor goes to its final season
- We tell all the tree huggers to screw it and begin drilling for oil in our own back yard
- There is a new reality show that features both Simon Cowell and Gordon Ramsey
- David Hasselhoff does well in rehab
- I do not get any cavities
- I get more sleep
- Tony Stewart wins the NASCAR Cup (This one is on behalf of my mother-in-law)
- Starbucks lowers its prices (Wishes do not have to be rooted in reality)
- El Nino makes a triumphant return
- All of my Ebay items sell
- I get my 7th reader for this blog

I know what you are thinking, nothing about the Yankees?!? Well if you remember as I stated earlier that health and prosperity were givens and Yankee success is paramount to both!

Happy New Year!

Making Noises

2007-12-17T11:17:00.000-06:00

My youngest boy Luke is almost done with his first semester of kindergarten and the highlights of my day are when he comes home and gets to talk about the day and eventually gets around to telling us why he had to move his pin (moving your pin is something they do in the younger grades to help them work on what is appropriate in school. You may get a pin moved for excessive talking or interrupting the teacher. It is not necessarily a bog thing, but helps them get used to what the school rules are).

On an average week Luke probably moves his pin 2-3 times and the reasons range from talking while the teacher was teaching to moving another students pin as a joke. Not long after he started school at the beginning of the year he told us he moved his pin for making noise during class. When we asked him what noises he made, he decided to show us. Enjoy!

Say No To Twinkies . . . . Jesus Saves

2007-12-10T16:58:00.000-06:00

Today as I was wrapping up our youth staff meeting which we held in our church library, I noticed the tract rack that was holding a various assortment of tracts, but there was one in particular that caught my eye. The tract entitled The Miraculous Loser drew me in like a moth to the flame.

The Miraculous Loser is a condensed story of a woman's 10 year battle with her weight. It was at the apex of her heaviness that she turned to the Lord and is now a fit, trim and active mom. While I do not discount the fact that she was able to discount the sin of gluttony (her words not mine) the connection between this and salvation leaves me perplexed? I am not sure what the message is or who it would be directed to? "Read this, rely on God to shed the pounds and find Jesus!" It almost sounds like the next Joel Osteen Sermon . . . "7 Easy Steps to Prosperity, Jesus and Being Thin."

What really got me going on this tract was some of writing. I am just not clear how this is supposed to lead someone to Jesus?

I stopped being able to fit in many chairs. I couldn't buckle up in a car or on an airplane. I even outgrew most 'plus size' clothing stores. I had no lap for my children, and, if I continued, my four children would have no mother at all. I was eating myself to death. One Sunday, my pastor preached a sermon on gluttony and read this verse, "And the Israelites craved meat more than God." I remember thinking, "How can that be? Who could love food more than God?" Then I realized...that was me.

Meat = sin, REPENT FROM YOUR MEAT!!!!

On October 1st, 2001, I prayed this short prayer: "God, I'm sorry. I know I've put food before my family, myself, and You. But that's the way it is; I can't change my heart. (And then a light bulb went on.) But You can, oh God! Please change my heart! Make me love You more than food. Take away these awful chains that have bound me for so long. Please! Amen." It was just a simple, honest prayer from my heart. I hadn't prayed expecting change, but I felt a stirring in my soul nonetheless. It was a beginning. Three days later, I, who had vowed never to diet again, joined Weight Watchers. I weighed in at 347 pounds.

So go to Weight Watchers and find Jesus?

Then one night I was lying in bed next to Mark. Suspecting the worst, I shared with him something I had found. "Honey, I have a lump here on my side and it's been getting bigger for the past several weeks." He felt it and said chuckling, "I think if you feel your other side you'll see you have a matching one." It was my hip bone! I just hadn't felt it in years.
OK there is nothing here expect this one made me about drive off the road and hit a telephone pole

I am glad this woman lost weight, found the strength to overcome, etc. However, I think we are going to an extreme here about how this leads to peace with God. Is it any wonder why some people look at Christians like we are nuts?

Da,Da,Da,Da, Da . . . I'M Lovin It!

2007-11-27T22:46:00.000-06:00

Nothing says good news story like McDonalds and angry transvestites, at least not to the good folks at WMC-TV Memphis, TN.

Apparently a melee started at a Memphis McDonald's at the drive through window. According to McDonald's employee, Martez Brisco the throw down started when: "They come to the window, 'Tap, tap, tap.' I'm still ignoring them. "I guess that just pissed them off worser." (Love the excellent English used here Martez and the superior customer service you showed them. Could it be any worser or are you planning on trying to make things betterer?)

Once the three "ladies" came in, that is when things got ugly and the manager got involved. I am not sure that there was ever a request by the three she-men to ever speak to the manager but according to the television station when the three entered, it was on!

I think the remainder of this story is best told by taking the words directly from the television transcript:

"The transvestites allegedly struck the manager with a tire iron, and when he swung back, the drag queens took off their stiletto boots, removed their earrings and prepared to attack." I like the fact that the attack, according to this reporter occurred after being struck with a tire iron! I am not sure, but if I was whacked with a tire iron I would be pretty damn sure that would constitute as an attack, but maybe that's just me? I also cannot help but think what the manager and staff were doing while they waited for the men to remove their heels and earings . . . , Can't you see the manager looking at a customer -"can I take your order while Jade here removes his, er, I mean her accessories so we can get this fight a brewin?"

"The manager, Albert Bolton, was covered with scratch marks after suspects clawed him with their fingernails."
The tire iron left no marks? Who is this guy that he is immune to large pieces of heavy metal being wielded on his body, but yet succumbs to mere scratch marks? Could nails be his kryptonite?

"Bolton grabbed a pot of scalding french-fry grease and hurled it at his attackers."
What was french-fry grease doing in a pot? How did he have time to get a pot? I guess we now know what he was doing while the transies were getting undone!

"One of the cross-dressers then smacked Bolton with a wet floor sign, sending him to the hospital in an ambulance. "
So the first thing you do after getting spattered with hot grease is pick up a plastic Caution Wet Floor Sign and whack the manager with it? What did they do with the tire iron? I would have at least given that a second try before resorting to plastic.

"Before driving off, the three attackers smashed the drive-through window. "
This means they left the restaurant, smashed the window and then drive away. Where the hell was Martez, studying his English Berlitz tapes? Could things get any worser?

Remember this happened in Memphis. For all 6 of you who read this if you have never been to Memphis, don't! You will feel like you just walked onto the set of Deliverance. Stay away, stay far, far away!

You Took Her Back?!?!?

2007-11-17T18:14:00.000-06:00

I think all of us can relate to the scenario where we had a buddy who was dating a girl (ladies if you are reading this reverse the genders), we were not particularly fond of, but we put up with her simply because our friend was with her and that's what friends do.

Then comes the break-up and as friends get to tell them what we really thought of her and how the entire thing was wrong in the first place and that there are better girls for him. Then, as fate would have it, about several weeks after that time lo and behold the two get back together and this time it looks like it is for good. We are then stuck having to be nice to her and always wonder what in the works is our friend thinking?

Well, that is what it is like with the recent agreement between the New York Yankees and Alex Rodriguez. Sure, ARod was part of the Yankees the last few years, but was there any fan that was really that upset that the princess decided to break it off? Well, it looks like this time it is for good and we will have to put up with it.

Which leaves us all wondering What were the Steinbrenners thinking?

I Have Lived in the South Way To Long!!!!

2007-11-12T18:49:00.001-06:00

I am not sure there is an actual line from Jeff Foxworthy that says this, but if there was it would go something like "if you borrow the trash from your neighbors curb to make a fort for an acorn fight, then you just might be a redneck." a.k.a. white trash.

As much as my vain pride wishes this was a thing of fiction (at lest the part of my children asking "can we uses your trash?"), I can attest as an eyewitness that it was not. This actually happened yesterday in the front yard of Casa de Hidalgo (speaking of eyes, Luke did take one
in the eye!)

I could fill in all the details but all I will say is this, Hidalgo Kids + Neighborhood Kids + Neighbors Trash = 2 Kickin Forts! The pictures say the rest!

Sayonara Jack-Ass

2007-10-30T08:29:00.000-05:00

So unless you live under a rock we all know by now that the team that shall never be named on this blog has won the World Series. However, we also know that on the night they won, that A-Rod announced that he would be opting-out of his contract with the New York Yankees. This was indeed the best news of the post season for all Yankee fans!

Over the four years that A-Rod has patrolled the hot corner for the Yankees there has not been one playoff series win, no trips to the World Series and more drama surrounding him then a rose ceremony on the Bachelor.

A-Rod is a princess, a primadonna, who with his agent Scott Bor"ass", have an insatiable need to be the story and dominate the spotlight. The announcement of his opting out came in the middle of Game 4 of the World Series, to which Boras responded "I did not think this would leak". Seriously? I would sooner believe that Barry Bonds did not use steroids.

A-Rod's desire and want to be bigger than team and baseball itself is and will continue to be damaging to any team that picks him up (I hope the team not to be named gets him) and I am glad to be rid of him. let him take his act and lousy playoff performances somewhere else. Let his pretty boy, I am king of the world attitude go elsewhere and undermine a franchise.
So for the Yankees it is good-bye to ARod, don't let the door hit you on the way out. Let the youth movement begin. Let the young guys who respect the game and their teammates play and show their love of the game, you will not be missed.

Happy Birthday to Me

2007-10-23T20:12:00.000-05:00

Today my son Luke turned 6. His kindergarten classes are Monday, Wednesday & Friday so that meant that with his siblings at school and Susanne teaching we had the whole day together. We decided that going out from breakfast, bringing Susanne lunch at school and taking the DART train to the zoo in the afternoon would be the best way to spend the day together. The day was great and while not my birthday, I think I had sooooo much more fun than he did. Here is a sampling of some of his statements our conversations throughout the day.

- Luke at breakfast: This is like the best day of my whole life!

- Me: Luke, what's the best part of being 6?
Luke: Well, opening presents and seeing mommy

- Luke: Daddy, have you ever seen a white monkey?
Me: Nope, do not believe I have
Luke: Me neither

- Me: Lukie boy, what did you like about riding the train?
Luke: The first thing I liked was getting on and then getting to go off the train, that was cool.

- "Dad, I feel like this is my second day being 6!"

- "I have not seen a duck in a long, long, long, long, long, long time!"

- "Hey dad, Justice turns 6 tomorrow!" (Justice is one of Luke's imaginary friends)

- "Daddy are otters nice?"

- "We already saw the rhinoceros, but we have not seen the bunny rabbits. They hop really good!"

- "That lion looks a lot like Aslan, doesn't he?"

- Luke: "Daddy are squirrels dangerous?"
Me: "No, not really"
Luke: "Well they can bite you, like a sting ray, except a sting ray will kill you."

- Luke: "Daddy, go wrestle the lion."
Me: "Mmmm, I don't thing so buddy. What do you think would happen if I did?"
Luke: "Well . . . . he would eat you."

- "Dad, remember that one big green snake, he was longer than my entire hand!"

- "I really wish the cheetah's were awake."

- On us boarding the monorail and Luke seeing the no-smoking sign:
Luke: "It says no smoking"
Dad: "You're right Luke, that means you can't smoke"
Luke: "I know, I know, I do not even have cigarettes."

- "This is like so, so fun!"

- Luke: "You can't even get into the lions cage unless you are the strongest man in the world and we know that God is strongest. Dad, who do you think the strongest man in Texas is?"
Me: "I am not sure, who do you think he is?"
Luke: "You dad"

- Luke: "Daddy, do you know what would be scary?"
Me: "What Luke?"
Luke: "Playing hide and go seek with a tiger."

Year 7

2007-10-11T11:23:00.000-05:00

It has been several days since my beloved Yankees bowed out of the playoffs yet again entirely to early. This year was not so different than last year where key players failed to deliver, it just the names changed from Sheffield and A-Rod to Jeter and Posada.

To say that one person alone a.k.a. Joe Torre should be the burden bearer for this failure is absurd, but to say that he bears none of the responsibility is not entirely accurate either? Should Joe be shown the door or should he come back for another season? The answer is a hard one and here are some thoughts:

HE SHOULD GO BECAUSE

You cannot just look at this year and say it is for this performance alone. If you are going to laud him with the 4 titles you have to also ascribe the bad to him as well such as:

Manager of the only team to cough up a 3-0 lead
No playoff series wins dating back to 2005 and only 2 wins in the playoffs over the last 2

He managed very poorly in this series:

Chieng -Ming Wang starting on 3-days rest after he got hammered in Cleveland in game 1? Why not Mussina a proven veteran who pitched great in Septemeber and had tons of rest. Why not Ian Kenndy on full rest?
He was way to conservative. During the year there was base stealing and the hit and run often sparked rallies, instead he sat on his hands and watched as Captain America (Jeter) hit into 3 double plays. Well done!

Where was he when the bugs descended in Game 2? He should have had Posada going to talk to Chamberlin in between every pitch. Why not have Chamberlin throw over the 1st to stall? Why was Ron Guidry not coming out to speak to him while he was being assaulted by the gnats?

Because coming out flat again next year may very well kill me

HE SHOULD STAY BECAUSE

Most teams would kill to make the playoffs for 12 straight years and have 4 championships in that time frame, believe me I live in Texas where Ranger fans cannot even spell playoffs.
The players would walk through a wall for him and some key ones may bolt if he does not come back
He is a legend and legends get to say when they will depart
Because it is not his fault that Jeter a.ka. Captain Double Play, was plain awful, that Posada kept striking out at crucial times and that Chieng Ming Wang took to throwing batting practice.

So my mind says to show him the door, but my heart says keep him. Time will tell but Joe, please go, or stay, or whatever, just next year win the series!!!

Help Save Knuckles!

2007-10-02T19:23:00.000-05:00

"Bumper, I need some help here!"

This is what I heard from my wife's mouth last night around 9:00. As I ran into the kitchen there she was standing over the fish bowl which was the home of her first grade classes pet, the beta fish called Knuckles.

As I looked into the bowl, which she had just cleaned, I saw Knuckles moving in a way that I never knew was possible for a beta fish or any fish for that matter. Watching him sway aimlessly in the water was like watching a leaf blow in a violent wind. To watch him would have been almost graceful if he did not appear so helpless. Floating on his side and then sinking tail first deeper into the bowl, like a man with hand extended after a ship wreck.

After my quick work of assessing the situation, I decided to reach my hand into the bowl to see if there was something I could do for the poor creature, it was at that moment that I realized the issue . . . poor Knuckles was being boiled right in front of my eyes!!!!

You see, in changing the water for the fish, Susanne knew from previous care that the water needed to be between 70-80 degrees. However, in this particular instance she surpassed the recommended temp by all estimate a mere 30 degrees. So in went Knuckles head first into a 110 degree hot tub of a fish tank to a certain death. I am almost positive that the Romans did the same thin to their fish when they were done with them, but could not imagine my wife to have had her fill of this fish. Upon questioning and working through the disbelief, we were able to determine that this was indeed an accident and something, somewhere went terribly wrong.

However, much to the delight of PETA members everywhere, I was able to pull Knuckles from the fish bowl and with the help of Susanne get him into water that was more suitable. After several minutes touch and go with convulsions included, Knuckles pulled through and is still with us today.

For those of you wondering, he is scared to death of Susanne and we are getting her a thermostat very soon.

I Will Now Watch News Conferences

2007-09-20T15:16:00.000-05:00

If this guy continues to be present at press conferences where lawyers speak on behalf of their clients, I will tune in every time!